Friday, December 31, 2010

Happy New Year

I will pass this night in prayer and gratitude for all the blessings I have received this year and for all that are yet to come.

Wishing you peace and joy in the New Year!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Season of Joy

My heart is overwhelmed with all of the love and blessings I have in my life. The time I have been able to spend with my precious family is so wonderful. It truly is a season of joy!

Monday, December 20, 2010

Visceral Response

When you have a visceral response to something you must trust it. Do not pass go, do not collect one hundred dollars! It is your strongest internal barometer that something is not right!

It is easy to try to explain it away, rationalize it or look for more information. That is when you need to stop and listen to what your instincts are telling you. When exactly was the last time your first impression was wrong?

I’ve had a lot of lessons about this in my life and I need to remember to never forget that my intuition will never lead me astray!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Desire

Every time something undesirable happens it helps me to define exactly what I really want in my life.

I am so grateful for everything that brings me closer to my desires!

Friday, December 17, 2010

Honor Trust

We must honor trust as the precious and fragile thing that it is. One moment you are full of confidence and the next you are unsure and skeptical. Whatever the relationship is, it is imperative that you stay honest with yourself and each other.

In the blink of an eye what you once believed was true can change and you find yourself looking for a way back to the trust you once felt.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Hopefulness

I have a great sense of hopefulness in my life. I accept that things will not necessarily be “my” way but they will be exactly as they need to be.

I have learned to love and appreciate the beautiful way that life unfolds. So I keep hopefulness in my heart and know it will turn out better than I ever could have planned it.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Work it Out

It seems that relationships have become very disposable. Somehow it is easier to walk away than to spend the time to repair it.

I have a hard time telling someone when I feel hurt or upset but when I do, I always hope that they will care enough to try to understand instead of getting defensive and angry.

That is usually a good indication if the relationship is one worth keeping. If you truly care about each other, you will find a way to work it out.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Give Peace a Chance

It surprised me this morning when I heard that it was the 30th anniversary of John Lennon’s death. Instantly I remembered the cold December day that it happened.

It was 1980 and as I walked through my neighborhood there were posters with Christmas lights sharing John’s message “Give Peace a Chance”.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Just Stop

It is amazing to me how quickly the drama ends when you just stop participating. That of course is easier said than done because most of us are so emotionally tangled up in it that we can't let go.

No matter how hard we push against something it is not going to give way, it is usually just the opposite.

You don't have to stop caring or feeling something about the situation you just have to stop reacting to it. Focus on something good, anything to get your mind off of what is upsetting you.

A battle can only continue if both sides continue to fight. The war ends the moment that you just stop.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Love Yourself

I believe it is important to love others and treat people the way you wish to be treated. But very often I forget how critical it is to love myself in the same way.

If I truly love myself, I won't allow anyone to hurt or disrespect me. I can't give to others what I won't give to myself.

That lesson may be a bit late in coming but I think I am finally beginning to understand that it all begins with me.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Purpose

In spite of some challenging circumstances I have always had a great sense of purpose in my life. I knew my existence was important and that I had a place in the world.

Some grow up knowing what their purpose is. I only knew that I had one and it was my job to find it or at least pursue it.

For me it may be much more about the journey than the destination. This has been a wonderful path full of love and lessons that a single purpose could never encompass.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Broken Cycles

Every woman in my family has broken away from those things that hindered us.

My mother left home at a very early age and moved far away from her family and support system so that she could have a different life.

I refused to be a stereotypical teenage mother and found a way out of the violence and substance abuse that was so pervasive in my life.

My daughters continue to change and grow with work, education, marriage and now families of their own.

I am thankful that all of us found the strength and courage to break the cycles and find true happiness in our lives.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Kindness of Strangers

It always touches me when someone you don’t really know reaches out to help you. During the years that I struggled to raise my two children I was very fortunate to have people in my life that helped in so many ways.

Some helped us to have a safe and affordable home. Others helped us to have transportation when we needed it. Of all the gifts great and small it was the kindness of strangers who helped us most of all.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

My Father

It is very strange to miss someone you never knew. My father was absent throughout my life and I always wondered how different things would be if he had been here.

Mom told me stories of how he would carry me on a pillow saying I was more precious than gold and yet he didn't stay to love or protect me.

I have spent my entire life learning to take care of myself and my family. With all my heart, I am so very grateful to have the life my father could not provide.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Heart’s Content

You will know that you have found your heart’s content when you are able to thank every circumstance that brought you to this place in time.

After my grandson's baptism ceremony we went out for a family dinner. After our meal we were all standing and talking, getting ready to leave and I realized this was MY family. We were that happy group of people who others look at and see real love.

This is my heart’s content!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Thanksgiving Blessings

Today I give thanks for all the wonderful blessings in my life.

For a family that I cherish more than they will ever know and for giving me a life I never thought I would have.

Thank you for the love and joy of a lifetime!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Pure Joy

As I began preparing tomorrow’s Thanksgiving dinner for my family, it occurred to me what a magical transformation has occurred in my life.

Many, many years ago when I was hurt or upset I would bake bread. It happened so often back then that my freezer was always full of homemade baked goods. It was always so rewarding that the more I worked the dough the better the bread turned out! What a fantastic outlet for releasing my frustration and anger.

Now, as I pull the fresh dinner rolls from the oven I smile, knowing these were made with pure joy.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Source

I am learning more and more about how my feelings have nothing to do with someone else’s behavior. It is only about my personal alignment with my source.

It does not matter if I see something that makes me feel good or bad, it is not about them, it is about me. Emotions are a great way of telling me where I am in relation to my source.

When I feel good I know I am connected and when I feel bad I know I am resisting it. All that is required is for me to allow it and it all comes back into perfect alignment.

Friday, November 19, 2010

My Voice

I have always struggled with losing my voice when I am with other people. Even as a young girl I withdrew instead of struck out when challenged.

My confidence has grown in many ways but somehow I still allow myself to acquiesce to others instead of exerting my own desire. That is very interesting because I am a strong willed woman with plenty of opinions!

I need to find a healthy balance between expressing myself and saying nothing at all. I need to find my voice!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Self Reliance

As a parent and especially as a woman it can be very easy to over-step our boundaries. We want to love and nurture others but the line between caring and smothering can become unclear.

It is important to not rob someone of their right to self-reliance. They deserve the satisfaction of working through a problem and feeling proud of their accomplishment.

The most loving thing we can do is to stand back and offer support and encouragement for what we know they are capable of.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Night Messages

Dreams are like messages in the night. They can tell you how you are feeling about life and give you a sign of what is to come.

If you are having nightmares then fear is the dominate emotion and there is something in your waking life that needs to be resolved. If your dreams are playful and fanciful then you are happy and enjoying your experience.

I pay a lot of attention to my dreams, they reflect my personal values and beliefs and help me to see what may be working or not working in my life. Always a valuable lesson...

Monday, November 15, 2010

Ask

The moment you identify exactly what you want it will come to you. It may be simple or grand but it is the heartfelt desire that is the asking.

It is very easy to get stuck on what we don’t like and don’t want from a situation but when you do that, all you get is more of the same.

If you can find a way to turn it around – think of what you do want then that is what you will attract.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Tea for Two

Once upon a time I had tea with a lovely, gentle woman who was at the end of her life. She spoke of her family and her home with great love and fondness.

Remembering all the joy and very little of the pain as she prepared herself for the next journey. As I listened to her I thought of my own mother who had done the same, many years before.

Now as I sit here, I smile to think of those tender moments when we shared tea for two.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Necessary Losses

In “Necessary Losses” Judith Viorst writes about what we must give up in order to grow.
Learning to accept losing someone you care about is very difficult but it is the only way to move forward in your life.

As painful as it may be the bigger the loss the better the growth.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Pause

When something unexpected happens do you push through it or look for what else is being presented?

Whether it's the road being closed on your favorite route to work or your computer’s untimely shut-down for no apparent reason we are being given the opportunity to switch out of auto-pilot and be aware of the moment of life we are in.

Next time that happens stop and think about what you are being offered in the pause!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

How did I get here?

When I look back on my life I have to ask myself "how did I get here from there". My childhood was full of pain and struggle and now my adulthood is full of love and joy!

I am thankful for every single experience that has brought me to this wonderful place and moment in time. I don't think if I had an easier time growing up that this would be so precious or meaningful to me. All I know is that I am so very grateful that I got here from there!

Monday, November 1, 2010

Broken Open

Jane Fonda writes in her new book about the love she feels for her grandson - “No one had prepared me for the feelings that arose when I held this little boy. I was utterly broken open in ways I had never been before”.

I know exactly how she feels. It is such an amazing and beautiful thing to feel broken open with love and joy for this precious new life!

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Thank You

One of my defining spiritual beliefs is profound gratitude. I believe it is at the core of all love and goodness in the world.

Albert Einstein said “A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life depend on the labors of other men…”

I thought about the true meaning of that this morning as I had my coffee. How many people spent their precious time and labor – planting, growing, harvesting, processing, shipping, marketing and selling so that I could simply reach into my pantry to make a cup of coffee.

I have always been very grateful but I’m not sure I ever realized the true depth of it until now….

“If the only prayer you say in your entire life is “thank you” that is enough” – Meister Eckhart

Saturday, October 30, 2010

No Regrets

The only thing I have ever wanted in my life was to be happy and have no regrets when I die. It is too easy to let life slip by one day at a time and not do the things you really want to do.

When I realize that there is something I want I have to find a way to pursue it. The worst that can happen is that if it doesn’t work out I simply do something else. And the best is that I have a fantastic experience!

No matter what happens I will have no regrets!

Friday, October 29, 2010

Joyful Heart

Today my heart is full of joy and my life is more wonderful than anything I could ever have wished for! As a little girl I knew that I must have some purpose here but I had no idea what it might be. I just knew it was my job to find it.

Now I know and believe that my entire purpose is to love and grow in every way possible. Sometimes the emotion is so beautiful it overwhelms me and that is when I know that I have found what I am looking for.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Forgive Yourself

Forgiveness is much more about us, than it is about others. When we choose to forgive ourselves for how we felt or acted we can let go of regret and self-incrimination.

It is a wonderful gift that can set us free and allows us to see things in a clear and honest way.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Less is More

It is interesting to me how the more I have the less I need. Life continues to grow and fill up with things but that isn’t what gives me joy.

It is the precious relationships and peaceful moments of my life. I am very happy to be sitting with a friend or taking a quiet walk in the country.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Listen

As we go through our days our senses are bombarded with sights and sounds. What we miss in the confusion is the quiet little voice that helps us find our way. It gets drowned out and we can no longer distinguish the important message from the noise!

If you are very still and listen to the silence you will hear what your heart is trying to tell you.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Accept the Past

It always surprises me when something I thought was done comes back up in my life. I have worked very hard to resolve the “big issues” from my past and hoped I had put it all behind me.

The truth is, our history is a part of us and it helps to shape us into the people we become. Now what I must accept is that there are some things you can never stop dealing with.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Wisdom

There was a time in my life when I felt very misunderstood and alone. I accepted a lot of criticism and judgment from other people.

There was a very special person who helped me move past that. To live my truth and to know that it came from my heart and not my head. I am forever grateful for the loving wisdom of someone who taught me so well…

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Vulnerability

It occurs to me that being vulnerable means something different to everyone. Although, some people with a shared traumatic experience can understand and know something that others cannot even imagine.

Unless you have gone through the same thing you can't possibly know what someone else may be feeling. Even then, your experience will be uniquely yours.

I am just beginning to see that the good intentions of others will not comfort me. They just don't know....

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Question Everything

When I recall situations that have been uncomfortable, I realize that I may not have asked enough questions. Or if I did, I accepted answers that weren't my own.

If I want to continue to grow I must analyze, examine and seek all the information I need until I feel it is right for me.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Little Things

It can be the littlest things that bring me the biggest joy! Like sleeping on brand new pillows or hearing my grandson coo in the background when my daughter says I miss you Mom.

I will always love and appreciate those beautiful little things!

Monday, October 11, 2010

The Power of No

I am getting a lot of interesting questions lately, things that require me to think about what I really want.

No has never been easy for me to say but I am learning that I must trust myself because I am rarely confused about what feels right.

Learning to say no gives me the power to say yes to what I really want in my life!

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Today

Today I woke with a renewed sense of peace and joy. Curling up under the warm covers, drifting in and out of sleep I realized that each and every day is exactly what I make of it.

Today I will appreciate all the beauty that is my life!

Friday, October 8, 2010

Be careful what you ask for

I believe we get exactly what we think about whether we want it or not. Recently, I was in a very difficult situation and did not understand how it happened. I knew that I created it but did not realize how.

Now I know - I was focused on the fear and not what I wanted! Thinking about what could go wrong and trying to protect against it only brought more fear based situations.

What I needed was to give my thoughts and energy to the peace and safety that I love so much and let that be what came into my experience!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Home

It is so interesting to visit new places and try new things but my wanderlust has ceased. It is being near my precious family that gives me the most joy.

I am very grateful and feel like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz - "There is no place like home".

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Rhythm

Being away from home and traveling with someone is helping me learn more about myself each day. I see that all people and places have their own tempo and pace.

Discovering my own personal rhythm is like feeling my heartbeat. When I remember to follow that I feel at peace.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Paris

It is a perfect day in Paris. Cloudy with a light breeze blowing as I sit at a lovely Brasserie on Rue Cler watching the world go by.

Eating fantastic fresh oysters and sipping a gorgeous glass of Bordeaux.

La vie est bonne!

Saturday, September 25, 2010

The Gift of Fear

I was reminded of a very important lesson this week – when something feels wrong it is your intuition trying to tell you something. Pay Attention!

Do not ignore or minimize your feelings, they are real. Fear is a gift - it is our personal warning system and gives us the opportunity to look more closely at what is happening.

I always know when I have found the truth in the situation because I immediately feel better and know that I have honored the wisdom that comes from within.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Harvest

Today is a wonderful day of change. It is the Autumnal Equinox and a Full Harvest Moon.

It is a good time for me to give thanks for those wondrous things that have come into my life and prepare for what is yet to come.

I am truly blessed!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Symmetry

It almost always happens - when I am talking to or visiting with one of my daughters the other one calls.

No matter where we are or what is happening in our lives the beautiful symmetry of our family connection never fails.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Love's Lessons

Sometimes our lessons come to us in the most unusual way and so it is with love....

When you meet someone who touches your heart it changes you forever. Now you see the beauty of something that may have gone unnoticed before.

Your awareness is heightened and you know you have learned something new about love...

Monday, September 13, 2010

Mindful Speech

It is easy to say whatever may come into our minds but it is very important to be mindful about what we say. Many years ago I heard about asking yourself “Is it True, Is it Kind, Is it Necessary” before speaking.

I usually think about it after I have said too much but I am learning and hope to be more mindful when I speak not just to others but to myself.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

A Grandmother's Love

I am so blessed to have a grandson from the moment of his birth; I knew the entire world would pause to marvel at his worth.

Or perhaps it’s just a grandmother’s love that makes him seem so bright. Just to have him in my life makes everything so right.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Light and Love

There is a precious new light in my life and he is my darling grandson. I have never known such overwhelming joy and love as when that beautiful child smiles at me.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Heart Smiles

There are few things in this world as wonderful as smiling from your heart!

It happens when an unexpected moment of joy catches me off guard and sends my spirit soaring.

I love how spontaneous life is and all of the precious moments that make my heart smile!

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Take nothing for granted

I was very moved by the film “Remember Me”. It was a great reminder to never, ever take anything for granted because you never know what might happen.

So love with all of your heart, sing out loud and dance as if no one is watching!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Take a Breath

Today I need to slow down and take a breath. My world went from peaceful and relaxing to hectic overnight. I am very grateful because I am getting ready for a new job and a couple of wonderful trips but the sudden flurry of activity has me a bit overwhelmed.

I am trying to learn how to pace myself so I can enjoy all the different aspects of my life without going into overdrive. That means taking the time to breathe!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Reflections

Looking back at this year it is hard to believe all that has happened in a short 8 months. Time really does go by in the blink of an eye. Every day I learn more about myself and this wonderful journey called life.

When I read back over some of the posts I've written this year I am grateful to have had this wonderful outlet of muse and expression. The reflection brings peace as I know that I have moved on from some things and am ready for others.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

The Power of Words

As our primary method of communication I don’t know if we give much thought to how powerful words can be. They are the gateway to our inner and outer world and expose so much about who we are.

It can be the words we say or those that go unspoken that define our experience. When we give voice to our heart the truth is revealed.

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless – Mother Teresa

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Tell a Better Story

If you continue to focus on how unhappy you are in your current situation you will have more of the same. If you can think of the positive aspects of what is happening and tell a better story your experience will change immediately. Suddenly you will feel the rush of joy that may have escaped you before.

It is easy to notice all that is not right in the world but it is imperative that we give our full, heartfelt attention to all that is good so that is what will grow. Tell a better story and the story gets better!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Allowing

As I began working on my computer this morning a message came up asking if I would allow an update to be installed. I could either accept it or block it.

It occurred to me that is exactly how it is in life. Nothing could be simpler, all I have to do is ask myself one question "Do I want this?” If the answer is yes then I must allow it completely, if not I just cancel and it goes away!

It almost seems too easy to be true but it comes from a place of deep knowing and trusting in each of us. Accept and allow all the beauty and joy that life has to offer and it will be yours.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Cycle of Life

During this past year every possible life experience has touched me - Love, Loss, Marriage, Friendship, Death and Birth.

I realized in June that all things come to pass - it was the 18th anniversary of my mother's passing and the same month that her beautiful great-grandson was born!

That is the precious cycle of life that continues....

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Transition

I love that life evolves and shifts every single day. Change truly is the only constant. It is exhilarating to me to anticipate what is coming and what new transition will occur. It feels like opening a gift you know you are going to love – no matter what it is!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Taking Stock

It is always good when I am challenged to stop and take stock of my life. What is really important to me and where do I choose to spend my time? Knowing that life happens in each and every moment makes me appreciate when I may be squandering my time.

Right now I am at yet another crossroads and it is time for me to choose if I want to race through this precious experience or slow down and savor the moment...

I know what I will choose - it isn't even close!

Friday, August 6, 2010

Looking Within

This has been a very good week! I was finally able to see what was under the surface of an issue I have been struggling with about my job. It really didn’t become clear to me until I talked it out with a dear friend and co-worker.

As I heard myself blaming others for something that I had either allowed or created it became clear. This was not about them or anything they had done, this was about me. The moment I took responsibility for my own actions the flood gates opened and the truth came pouring out! I knew it was true when I felt it and smiled when I remembered it all works out when I am willing to look within!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Perception

Early one morning, as I got out of my car and walked into work a large truck raced past me and screeched to a stop in the parking lot. A woman nearby noticed and very angrily commented – “that is terrible and he has a baby in the car!” as she pushed her way ahead.

I stopped in my tracks and realized I work at a hospital – “he has a baby in the car” means he has an ill child! My perception immediately shifted from noticing a rude driver to compassion for a father trying to get help for his baby.

That touched me deeply and I looked around to make sure his way was clear to come through. As he approached me he said “Excuse me, I parked in the wrong lot, do you know where the nearest ATM is to pay for parking?” Without thinking I handed him $20 and told him where the entrance was for the clinic.

In a few short minutes my entire life came into focus! That was such a fantastic experience and I hope to always remember that perception can lead to amazing insight if you look closely enough!

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Self Acceptance

I can’t truly love or accept anyone else until I can love and accept myself. Not later under some improved state or condition but right here and right now just as I am! I need to make a promise to myself that I will love, honor, respect, appreciate and cherish who I am at this moment.

Then as I look out into the world I will know that the beauty I see is equal to the beauty within.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Let Go

I’ve been hearing “Let go and let god” a lot lately. Although I don’t think of it as God I do believe in the absolute higher power of the Universe. When something is coming into my awareness often enough for me to notice that means it is time for me to stop and pay attention to what the universe is trying to tell me.

Usually it is that I am trying to force my own will instead of accepting what is. It is easier to forget than remember but I must find acceptance before I can have peace.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Restful

My daughter sent me a photograph of my new grandson while I was at work today. Just looking at that beautiful little boy brought tears to my eyes. As I shared the picture with a co-worker he said to me “You must not be restful right now”.

That describes perfectly what I am feeling - not restful to be away from this precious child! Since the moment he was born all of my heart and attention are focused on planning the next time I will be able to see him again…. Then I will rest.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Rockets of Desire

I am learning to be truly grateful for every difficult or uncomfortable experience. The more I go through the more I realize that it only serves to propel rockets of desire for me to try something new!

It feels so wonderful to be able to turn that bad energy into something good. I feel very sorry for those people who are in so much pain that they are locked into that energy. I still have plenty of hurt feelings and moments of wishing that it were something else but then I realize that I have been given a great gift.

Every struggle reminds me of all the beautiful possibilities that await me when I let myself follow my desire!

Friday, July 9, 2010

Something New

It is always so wonderful when I learn something new. It isn't always the most comfortable thing to experience but after I have moved past the pain I can really look at what has occurred and it becomes very clear what I need to do next.

It also helps very much to have a true and supportive friend to help you stay honest and find the rainbow after the rain....

Friday, July 2, 2010

Kairos

Kairos is an ancient Greek word meaning the right or supreme moment. While Chronos refers to chronological time (clocks and calendars), Kairos is the time in between, a moment in which something special happens (infinity, joy, love, the sacred). That is what I felt the moment I held my grandson for the very first time.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

The Secret of Nimh

When my girls were young they went to visit their father during summer break. At that time, we had never spent more than 1 or 2 nights apart and we were very unsure about it. Even though they were only going to be gone for 2 weeks and it was nearby, we struggled to be apart.

On my first visit to see them we went to see the movie “The Secret of Nimh”, a heartwarming story about a small family of mice and the challenges they face. We sat outside the theater and talked and cried about how much we missed each other and that we would need to cut the visit short.

Last week as I left to go back to work with my daughter waiting to have her baby and the other one there to look after her, it felt like that summer all over again. My heart is full of joy and gratitude to have such a beautiful and precious family!

Friday, June 25, 2010

2 Days Old

He is only 2 days old and already the most precious thing that could possibly exist! What a journey he had to come into this world but he has shown his strength and desire to be here with us.

When I hold him in my arms I can feel my heart melting..... So healthy and perfect, with all my love - I welcome my darling grandson!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Neutral

I met a man recently who said he felt neutral about his life – about whether or not he had grandchildren or ever met the love of his life…. How can someone be neutral?! Life is the most exhilarating experience and I do not understand not feeling every possible emotion connected to it.

Perhaps that is too much for some but for me it is never enough. I want to touch, taste and feel every precious drop that life has to offer and I will settle for nothing less than sheer and perfect joy! You’ll recognize me when I die – I’ll be the woman with the smile on her face!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Anticipation

Any time now my new grandson will be here. I am so happy and excited I can hardly wait! I know my daughter is ready as well. The last few weeks of pregnancy can be very uncomfortable and you get very anxious. Especially with the first one, you have no idea of what to expect and every woman has a different experience.

It is a wondrous event for our family and my heart is overwhelmed with love for a child I haven’t even met yet!

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Priorities

While I sat in the small chair at the Children's Cancer center waiting for my meeting with the Manager it reminded me instantly that there are much more important things in the world than work.

That is something I appreciate about the job that I have - constant reminders of what my priorities really are and how very fortunate I am.

Monday, May 31, 2010

New Love

I can feel the excitement building – new love is coming into my life and I am thrilled.

For a long time I didn’t think that I wanted to be in a serious relationship but now my heart is open. I have had so many wonderful experiences that have taught me how fantastic it can be to share loving and joyful time with someone special.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Precious Life

Sometimes we get a not so subtle message to grasp every single moment of life and joy that we possibly can!

Today was one of those days for me... On a routine flight home from work our plane hit the jet stream of another aircraft and caused a very frightening tumble in the air that was surreal.

It was a very close call and immediately I flashed on those I love and how precious and fragile our lives truly are.

My lesson in this is to never, ever take anything for granted. Appreciate and honor everything you hold dear for you never know when it will end.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Wanted or Not Wanted

Sometimes it’s the smallest thing that can make the biggest difference. I've been reading a lot about the "Law of Attraction" and how in the universe there are 2 aspects to everything, wanted and not wanted.

The concept is to focus on more of what you do want to have in your experience and less on what you do not. It can be very difficult to remember to think this way because most of us were taught the opposite.

But if I want peace, joy and love in my life then that is what I must give my attention to. When I can do that, I see how beautifully it unfolds and becomes better than I ever could have imagined.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

More

"More than the greatest love the world has known, this is the love I'll give to you alone..." by the wonderful Nat King Cole.

Every time I hear that song I feel a pull at my heartstrings and remember sitting with my mother on a Sunday afternoon. Sometimes it was while we were doing her hair, sometimes we were just talking.

Dear Mom - I miss you more than you'll ever know.....

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Stillness

There is something magical about stillness. To be so completely calm and aware of my physical being that I can feel the sensation of air touching my skin and hear my heart beating.

It draws me into a deeper state of appreciation for both the physical as well as spiritual aspects of life.

I treasure those lovely little moments of pure tranquility….

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Flowering Trees

I had forgotten about the gorgeous flowering trees in California. It makes me very happy when I step outside and smell the lovely fragrance and see the beautiful colors. Just to take a few minutes to appreciate the beauty around me makes me smile and give thanks for the wonderful life I have!

Friday, May 14, 2010

Merging Worlds

As my life gets busier I need to remember to make time for those things that are most important to me. Talking to my daughters or just taking a peaceful walk. It is easy to let the dedication to work spill over into my personal time and space and before I know it I am tired and overwhelmed.

I want to stay aware of my needs and take care of them before they become critical issues. Very much the same approach I have at my job. If I merge all of my worlds and maintain a healthy balance I will have a joyful life experience!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Motherhood

Today is Mother’s Day and it always makes me so very grateful for my two precious daughters. I’ve told them many times but I don’t know if they really understand that having them didn’t just change my life – it gave me life.

As sure as if we were born to each other the three of us have been connected in such a special way all of our lives. Today I will honor and remember my own mother who is gone but be thankful for the tremendous joy I have in being a Mother!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Beltane

In ancient Ireland the main Beltane fire was held on the central hill in 'the navel of Ireland', which is located in what is now County Westmeath.

It signaled the beginning of summer with great bonfires to mark a time of purification and transition, heralding in the season with hope of a good harvest later in the year.

I am always fascinated at how our modern day observances began. And I love celebrations of transition and May Day is one of the most jubilant!

Friday, April 30, 2010

Path with a Heart

It requires an extreme amount of faith to follow your instincts and find your own path. If it is laid out for us then it was never ours to begin with.

It is a grand adventure when we set out to discover where it is we want to go. All the while never knowing where we will end up!

You don't have to prepare or change anything to begin your journey. All that is required is a willing spirit and you will find your path with a heart!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Balance

Being a very emotional person, I have often struggled with the extreme highs and lows of life. In “The Road Less Traveled” Scott Peck writes about the importance of maintaining balance in our lives. Along with delayed gratification, dedication to the truth and acceptance of responsibility; balancing is an essential component of a joyful life.

It is a function of releasing control or resistance in order to regain our equilibrium. Going too far to any extreme will result in chaos and unnecessary pain. That is rather ironic as most of the desire to control or resist was developed out of painful experience.

What I am learning is that the richness of life is balanced beautifully with peace and joy.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Questions

I need to remember to ask questions when I am uneasy about something. It is usually just anxiety about something that hasn’t happened as soon as I thought it should! Impatience really gets the best of me, especially when I am excited to move forward.

It helps to calm my mind if I can shift my focus and ask myself a few questions. What do I need to learn from this and where do I go from here? That along with some deep breathing and meditation will get me back on track.

It is just so easy to forget and let the stress of everyday situations overwhelm me. That is where I need to really practice mindful awareness and focus on the questions.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Happy Birthday

Today is my mother's birthday and she would have been 87 years old. I would have loved to have seen her at that age.

She was such a strong and dynamic woman with a very tender heart. When I think back on what she had to endure in her lifetime I am grateful that she is now at peace.

I have wonderful memories of her sitting with her dear sisters laughing like little girls at the kitchen table. I hope they will do that today and celebrate the life of beautiful woman.

Happy Birthday Mom!

Monday, April 26, 2010

Becoming or Being

Early Greek philosophers contemplated the concept of 2 different states that we occupy in our existence – Becoming and Being.

One theory is that we are “becoming” until we finally arrive into “being”. The other is that we never achieve “being” as everything is constantly evolving and “becoming” something new.

I believe the latter to be true because the first implies endedness and in the universe of eternal life and energy nothing ceases to be. For me, I will love the journey and hope to never stop becoming who I was meant to be!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Beautiful New Day

There is a change happening within me right now that is difficult to explain. I woke early this morning feeling so happy and alert. I am more of a night person so mornings are usually a little slow for me. Today felt very different... As soon as I opened my eyes I felt refreshed and ready to get on with my day.

I am generally a very optimistic person but what I am feeling now is much deeper and very profound. It’s like being in school, when you study something and understand well enough to get a passing grade but then suddenly you really get it! You now know and feel it in a way that surpasses anything you did before… that is the beginning of a beautiful new day.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Open the Door

There seems to be a bit of a theme developing… fairy tales of magic and wonder. Unbelievable things coming true, that is what my life feels like right now. Just like “The Frog-Prince” cast under a cruel spell until the princess lets him in and releases the charm.

I have often struggled with the fact that life can be very difficult but over the years I have come to appreciate what we gain from those challenges. Now I realize that all of our hopes, dreams and desires are piled up outside – all we have to do is open the door and let them in!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Looking Glass

Somehow I feel as though I am Alice stepping through the looking glass… This past week has been a definite turning point for me and it is incredible what I have discovered.

My life has evolved in such a wonderful way and I am so very grateful! I suppose that is what “The Law of Attraction” is really all about. Whatever we think, feel and do draws more of same.

What I learned this week is that when you approach something with pure love and kindness that is what you will receive. Not necessarily from someone else – but from your higher self. Some will say that is not reality but they don't see what I see in the looking glass...

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Mother Earth

Today as we celebrate Earth Day I make a commitment to love and cherish our planet; to honor the animals, plants, air, oceans, mountains, deserts and forests in any way that I can.

I want to help mother earth stay healthy, strong, vibrant and clean for all of us. Native Americans have a tradition of honoring that which they hold sacred. We must have respect for the sacred space we all share.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Expansion

The nature of life is one of expansion. Everything grows and changes whether we like it or not. We can resist and inhibit the growth within us or embrace it and look forward to all the new opportunities it brings.

As much as I enjoy the changing of the seasons in nature I love the experience of it in my life. With each passing year I become more engaged and connected to the beauty of the ever changing cycles of life. I always appreciate that because of those changes and expansion it is a life worth living!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Hunger

People everywhere are starving - some for food, some for attention, and some for love. All are desperate for nourishment of their body and soul.

Each one of us has to learn to end the cycle of deprivation on our own. It is only as infants that we cannot provide for ourselves. We learn very early who will help feed us or when we must seek it on our own.

It is amazing the things we are capable of when we no longer feel lack or scarcity in our lives. We become healthy and vital, well able for the challenge of life.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Succulence

Succulence - I love the sound and meaning of that word! Full, juicy, tender and luscious – truly what could be better than that!

How many of us live a full and meaningful life or do we pass from day to day hoping it will improve “when”…. when I have more money, when I lose weight, when I finally find a partner? Our lives are right here and now, not tomorrow or next year.

Living in the moment means to appreciate every single thing just as it is. Even though I may not clearly understand my purpose I know I am here for a reason and I am going to have the best, most succulent experience I can possibly have!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Authentic Self

In Simple Abundance – Sarah Ban Breathnach writes that the “Authentic Self is the Soul Made Visible”. I remember reading that for the very first time and it took my breath away. What a beautiful thought.

It has taken my entire life but I am finally beginning to recognize who that person really is. Not what someone else needed or wanted it to be but ME, my true authentic self! I feel like I am on this grand adventure and everything leading me up to this moment has only been a prelude to the real attraction!

I am thrilled to continue the excavation because I am ready to let my soul be visible!

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Simple Pleasures

I am always so amazed at how much joy can be found in the simplest of things. Last night as I prepared my dinner I looked out of the window. I smiled and shut everything off so I could just stand and watch the lovely setting. It was like a miniature wild kingdom in my front yard. There were several little finches at the bird feeder in the tree and rabbits peacefully grazing in the grass.

It reminded me very much of when my girls were growing up and we had pets and animals of all sorts in our back yard. Those beautiful, simple moments were the happiest times of my life....

Friday, April 16, 2010

Hope

Hope is that wonderful emotion that lets us relish in the excitement of something that has not yet arrived. Waiting can cause some anxiety but I prefer to focus on the positive expectation of what is coming.

I really like the concept of “acting as if it has already occurred”. I love how it feels to put myself into the joy that I know I will experience when it really does happen.

A man I once knew said that he enjoyed the anticipation more than the reality of most things. I suppose that is a matter of perspective. But to me, there is nothing better than a lovely fantasy that comes true!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Self Doubt

Sometimes when I am going through a lot of changes I begin to let self doubt creep in. I hesitate when I should move forward and second guess myself. That can be very dangerous. Left unchecked it will grow out of proportion and create indecision where there should be none.

I don’t mind questioning myself or even rethinking something but I can’t let it go too far. I have to remind myself that I am capable and always try to make the best decisions I can. I have to trust the process and get back on track quickly so I can regain my momentum and accomplish all that I know I can!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Thank the Pain

I am grateful when I experience pain because of all that it teaches me. At 54 you wouldn’t expect me to be overly na├»ve but as it turns out I am. I still look for and expect the absolute best in people. It is only when they prove me wrong that I am forced to see the other side. I do try to remember the old saying - Fool me once shame on you – fool me twice shame on me.

Even with that, I have no desire to change who I am or how I view the world. I believe in the inherent goodness in people and that will always be my first thought. If it turns out otherwise I will thank the pain and move on.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Acts of Kindness

They say that witnessing an act of kindness is as powerful as actually doing it. To see someone do something that is not required benefits everyone.

I like to give and it always makes me feel good but sometimes I need to step back and appreciate what someone else is doing. As my awareness increases I am noticing many things that might otherwise have escaped me.

Today I will look for random acts of kindness by others....

Monday, April 12, 2010

Change your story

There is a saying - Change your story, change your life. This is part of the "we are what we believe" philosophy that for me is very true.

I had a great revelation this weekend. After a week of dealing with some difficult people I spoke to the one person who is always honest, fair and consistent. She has been a trusted friend for many, many years and has never wavered in who she is or how she treats people. She is also very good at setting appropriate boundaries. If I ever had a role model she is it!

What I realized is that I have been trying to create a new outcome from some old and very dysfunctional materials! I can’t go back to redo or change anything from the past but I can begin right now to move forward and have the life I want and deserve.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Trust your instincts

How often do you feel discomfort about a situation and dismiss it? I do it far too often. It is rare for me to look back at my initial reaction to something and think it was wrong. Usually the only thing wrong was that I didn’t trust it and went against my own best judgment.

In “The Gift of Fear” Gavin DeBecker writes brilliantly about this common and dangerous tendency, especially among women. We are taught that it is better to be nice than safe. We are afraid of offending the stranger on the elevator that gives us the creeps, or stopping the friend or family member who is verbally abusing us.

We have this amazing gift of knowing when something is not right. I am learning more everyday how important it is to trust my own instincts and take care of myself.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Replenish the Well

Why are some people so surprised when the well runs dry? Are they so focused on taking what they want from the seemingly endless supply that they never envision a shortage?

Me on the other hand, I consider every drop to be precious because I know if it’s not replenished in an equal amount to what is taken it will run out.

So it is with relationships, it always feels so full and bountiful in the beginning but if you don’t honor and respect the limit you will soon pull up an empty bucket.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Happy Friday

I love Fridays, even when I'm not working. It signals the end of the week and beginning of the weekend! Immediately my mind shifts out of what I have to do into what I want to do.

That is a state of mind I am trying to achieve more often in my life. I am exploring new ways to have a truly joyful life experience. So maybe the way to do that is to think of everyday as Friday!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Boundaries

Setting and maintaining healthy and appropriate boundaries has been a lifelong challenge for me. I really struggle with remaining true to who I am and not offending or deliberately hurting someone, even when it is someone who has been very unkind to me.

As with everything, I have new opportunities to learn about this every day. What I know now is that it is my responsibility to set the limits. I have to value myself enough to enforce my personal boundaries and not allow anyone to trespass against them.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Serendipity

Serendipity is that happy surprise we were not consciously expecting. Sometimes the smallest thing like thinking of a friend at the same moment they call or wandering into a bookshop and a book you have always wanted to read accidentally falls off the shelf.

We often have those lovely encounters in our day that we dismiss as mere coincidence. I don’t allow many of those things to go unnoticed anymore. I believe that everything is connected and even though we may not understand the relevance at the time, there is a reason behind it. There is no such thing as a chance encounter, we have created or drawn to ourselves exactly what is occurring.

I have gotten much better about asking “what does this mean and what do I need to learn?” It helps in even the most trying situations. When the answer comes, it usually is when I least expect it and it always makes me smile because I know it is Serendipity.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Resistance

“Resistance is Futile” said the Borg from Star Trek and they are right. The more I try to fight something the worse it gets.

Once I relinquish my opposition the conflict ends and everything smooths out. This does not mean standing in the middle of the road waiting to get run over but it does mean not trying to force something one way or the other.

Just like those Chinese finger puzzles we used to play with as kids. The harder you try to pull the tighter they get. As soon as you relax they slip right off… That is a good lesson for me to remember!

Monday, April 5, 2010

Harmony

Harmony is a lovely combination of thoughts and spirit in concert. I love when something blends together to become more than the sum of its parts.

In "Simple Abundance" Sarah Ban Breathnach writes "Harmony provides us with the inner peace we need to appreciate the beauty that surrounds us each day and that beauty opens us to joy".

Today I will spend more time listening to that lovely melody….

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Life Celebrations

Today we celebrate the ancient tradition of “Eostra”. It began as the pre-Christian festival of spring and fertility – the rebirth of life after winter. The rabbit and egg were classic symbols of fertility and new life used to honor the Vernal Equinox by many different cultures.

Traveling to other countries I have been fascinated to discover a common thread – the ancient origins of the traditions we practice now. One of the most striking examples was in Ireland at the Hill of Tara and Newgrange. At these beautiful and sacred sites you will see both Pagan and Christian beliefs honored. Respect for all is a true celebration of life.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Expectation

Generally, I don’t like having too many expectations. I prefer being surprised rather than disappointed but that doesn’t always serve me very well. Especially when it comes to how I allow others to treat me.

When I treat someone with kindness and respect I hope they will treat me the same way in return. Setting healthy boundaries is no longer an option but a requirement in my life. Now, I will raise my expectations so that I honor and respect myself in the way that I deserve.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Today

Living for today can be a challenge. Somehow my mind tends to wander back to the past or spin dreams of tomorrow... When I do that I realize that the day has vanished into just another yesterday.

Our lives happen in every moment that we are alive. I want to slow down and appreciate every day for its unique beauty and gift.

The lovely Leo Buscaglia reminded us "Live each day as if it were your last, one day you will be right".

Thursday, April 1, 2010

On with the dance

Mark Twain wrote "On with the dance, let joy be unconfined". I don't know if there is any higher purpose in our lives but to seek joy.

Someone told me once that selfishness is an underrated virtue. At the time I thought that was a very odd statement but I've come to believe it is true. If we are happy and content with ourselves then we have so much more to give. Without it we have nothing.

So I intend to love, laugh, play and dance with all of my heart and live a truly joyful life!

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Appreciation

Today I am focusing on appreciating everything good in my life. I want to deliberately seek out those things that make me happy and acknowledge them.

It is easy to do that when I am feeling good but days like today when I am a bit down it is very important to shift my focus. I am learning more and more that I have no control over anything except myself and my reaction in the world. What I do know is that good or bad each moment will pass and so I have to put my energy and focus on what I want not what I don’t want in my life.

It is a lovely spring day and I can’t begin to count all the wonderful things I have to appreciate!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Something for me

Recently a friend asked why I was writing this blog, what was the purpose? That was a very interesting question because I thought it would be obvious to someone who knows me… My answer was it is something just for me. It is an expression of my thoughts and feelings that I give voice to by putting in such a public forum.

Another friend summed it up very nicely – she described it as a conversation with myself. She also said I sounded very cautious and she is right. I have to be very careful to write what I am feeling and not edit it based on what someone else might think. That in itself is a very good exercise for me. I am used to filtering my words into something more easily accepted by others. Now it is time to let the real me shine and do something just for me.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Integration

My entire life has been a prelude to this stage of my journey. Finally after all of the years I can begin to integrate the different aspects of myself and my world. As I listen to other "women of a certain age" I realize that this is something many of us begin to do in our fifties. We needed the knowledge and experience from living our lives before this process could begin.

Just like any system you have to know and understand the various elements and how they fit together. I think the first chapters of our lives are trial and error. Growing and testing to see what feels right, merging and blending where we can. It is only after you have pieced all of that together, removing some things and adding others that we begin to see the larger picture. Now what emerges is a clearer image of what we want our lives to be…

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Control

I find that the more heavily invested in the outcome I am the more control I try to have. The harder I try the less power I really have and that is usually when everything goes straight into the ditch!

All of that for me comes from fear – fear of the unknown. What will really happen if I let go and just let it be? My deepest insecurities rise up when I let fear take over. I feel frightened and unsafe and have to do something to protect myself.

My first instinct is to try to control or manipulate the situation so I feel comfortable again but that does not work. What works is to release control and trust that everything that happens is for my highest good!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Positive Aspects

When I am experiencing some difficulty in my life it is not always easy to focus on the positive aspects of the situation. But, when I really think about how I am feeling I can change that fairly quickly.

Most of that is because I don't like the discomfort of the negative emotion. Anger, frustration, disappointment.... all of that is a big waste of time and energy. I go there as easily as the next person but I try not to stay there for very long.

My life and happiness are much more important and when I start looking at the fantastic opportunities that have just opened up I can easily see the positive aspects!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Contrast

It is not always easy to see but sometimes the best way to know what we do want is to experience what we do not want. This has been a tremendous influence throughout my life.

I may not know where I do want to go but I can tell you exactly where I don't want to be! Having that information is so valuable because it helps me create a new map for my life.

What I try to remember is that the plan is in pencil not ink! You can make changes and revisions as you go along. Sometimes when I'm not sure how far I've really traveled I look at the wonderful and dramatic contrast of what my life was!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Nurture

As a mother it was very easy for me to nurture and cherish my children. I prepared nutritious meals, watched out for their safety and tried to help them develop self worth and know their value in the world.

I know I am not alone when I say that women tend to be very good at taking care of others but not always so good at taking care of ourselves. I grew up during the Women's Liberation movement and it was a very exciting time. Full of the promise and hope for all of those things we did not have access to in the past. It was a time of great change but also of tremendous responsibility.

Women now can have it all – the problem is that most of us try to do it all! Slowly I am learning that if I nurture myself and cultivate my health and happiness I will understand my value in the world.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Wonderland

This morning looks likes a winter wonderland outside, it is just beautiful. We got over a foot of snow last night and now the sun is peaking out and it is already beginning to melt.

That is something I really appreciate about living in Colorado, even though the weather is sometimes severe, it doesn't stay for very long. The moisture from this storm will nourish the plants and trees so they can bloom in all their glory.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Be Playful

I don't know who the author is but there is a quote that I love "Be playful and stay open the possibilities are endless"!

It is too easy to get caught up in the seriousness of life. I am particularly guilty of that. Outwardly I may seem to be a very serious person but the truth is I have a silly, childlike nature. That was one reason why I loved being a parent, it gave me an excuse to have fun!

Under the quiet, sometimes shy facade there is a little girl who loves to laugh and play. I need to let her out more often!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Inspiration

I am so inspired by seeing others doing something they really love or watching a wonderful movie about people accomplishing amazing things.

As a girl I loved to read autobiographies like Helen Keller or the Diary of Anne Frank. It was unbelievable how much someone can overcome and succeed.

Because of my own personal obstacles I learned how to survive and then having gone through that I knew I could achieve anything I wanted!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Peaceful Days

Today I feel relaxed and at peace in the world. As I drifted off to sleep last night the only thing in my mind was how wonderful my life is.

I am so grateful to have more time to spend at home. Little things like cooking and cleaning at an easy pace is very satisfying. I appreciate everything a lot more when I slow down and enjoy the moments of my life.

The Eagles did a great song "Peaceful Easy Feeling” that describes me perfectly today!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Spring

Spring may be my favorite time of year. It is such a dramatic change in season and so full of surprises.

This is my first spring in my new house and I can't wait to see what blossoms. I know I have daffodils in the yard and a lovely family of rabbits that I've been feeding all winter. There is also a wonderful foot path that goes around a large lake that has geese, ducks and all sorts of wildlife. It will be fantastic to see all the new life that has been created during the winter.

I am so amazed at the beauty of the life cycle, just as everything sleeps it awakens and begins again….

Friday, March 19, 2010

Wealth

My definition of wealth has changed dramatically in the last decade. It is no longer about money it’s self but how you feel about it. To say that I grew up poor would be a serious understatement and yet I know now that we were much more fortunate than many others.

Poverty truly is a state of mind and will limit everything you think you can do or have. And as long as you are setting those limits you are a self fulfilling prophecy. There were several things that helped me shift my perspective but 2 that were significant in the process. The first was Gratitude – to be honestly thankful for everything I have. The second was to Give to others - time, money or things it doesn’t matter.

What was interesting was after a short amount of time the more grateful I was to have something to give the more I received and the more I received the more I gave….. On and on until I realized that for me this is the true meaning of wealth. I am so very grateful to have so much to give!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Patience

Patience truly is a virtue and I am still struggling to learn this. Persevering and staying calm during long delays can be very difficult for me. As I learn more about manifesting or creating what I want in my life I find it is a true test of my tolerance.

We are a society of instant gratification and so the concept of waiting for what we want is a challenge. Although, I do know that if we are confident and mindful everything will work out exactly as it needs to. Asking for something is easy but then you must have enough faith and patience to allow it to come into your life.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

My lovely Eire

Today is St. Patrick's Day and I can't help but be a little melancholy about the time I have spent on that lovely green isle. Over the years I have made many trips and had some fantastic experiences. Good and bad they all touched my heart deeply.

It was wonderful to be an American traveling and living in Ireland. I have never received a more gracious and warm welcome anywhere else in the world. Even though I wasn't able to trace my Irish ancestors it always felt like home when I was there.

No matter where I may go I will always remember the beautiful country and the lovely people of Ireland.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Don't Stop

Don't Stop was a great song by one of my favorite bands - Fleetwood Mac and it is the perfect theme for my day. As the song goes - "Don't stop thinking about tomorrow, don't stop it'll soon be here. It'll be better than before, yesterdays gone, yesterdays gone."

I have to remind myself every day of what I should never forget - to appreciate today and look forward to tomorrow. It is unbelievable how everything that I need and want works out. Not in the conventional way or even the way I envision it but perfectly and at exactly the right moment!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Winds of Change

I always look forward to the Ides of March and the change that it brings. Not the dark, foreboding of Julius Caesar but the positive, life affirming transformation of Spring.

Flowers are peaking out from a light blanket of snow that fell last night with the promise of warmth in the air. I have learned to welcome each new season and appreciate that everything must change in order to grow.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Reclaiming Power

Today I woke with a strong sense of purpose. There are things I need to sort out and sift through to reclaim my power. Not just physically but mentally as well.

Someone told me once that the person who cares the least in a relationship has the most power. That struck me as profound and sad but true. At least it has been true in my life.

Now I am finally feeling strong enough to sever those ties that are hurting not helping me. It is so easy for me to be caught in the trap of what someone wants and needs from me that I forget or forego what I need. Every day I am grateful for this wonderful life and will do my best to make the most of it!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Gaining Energy

There are those things that deplete our energy and things that give us energy. Spending quiet and peaceful time with a good friend is something that always replenishes my energy. To be with someone so kind and honest is an incredible thing, I can let my guard down knowing I am safe.

There is no pretense or judgment just a calm sense of being happy and comfortable together. It is amazing when you spend time with someone you love and respect, suddenly everything seems clear and simple. It becomes more apparent what I really need and want in my life.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Untangling the Bones

Many years ago, I took a sabbatical from work to focus on myself. I had been a busy single mother raising my 2 daughters and had taken care of my mother before she passed away. I was searching for meaning and purpose in my own life.

It was that year that 3 separate people gave me a copy of “Women Who Run With the Wolves”. Not exactly a subtle message from the universe. One of the most memorable stories was about the Skeleton Woman. A fisherman pulls her bones out of the water and puts her back together. With the warmth and care of this man she comes back to life and then nourishing herself with his tears; his heart begins beating again and he comes back to life.

This story resonated so deeply with me and reminded me of the beauty of the Life/Death/Life cycle that exists in everything and how love can nourish us and bring us back to life.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Clarity Among the Ruins

Now I realize why I have procrastinated unpacking so many of the boxes I have conveniently stashed away. The energy of those things is tremendous!

Some of these boxes have been moved from place to place for years without so much as being opened. Yesterday, as I began to go through it all I unleashed a torrent of energy. It was so strong I could not sleep at all last night. I really underestimated the power of holding on to so many things.

There were some wonderful discoveries in the process, things that I love and will always cherish. Then there are those things that brought up memories that I would rather forget. Now as I sit in this war zone that was my peaceful home, I hope to find some clarity among the ruins.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Healing

We are all wounded in some way. It may be something that was taken from us or something that was never allowed to grow. Either way I believe it is what we are here to learn and overcome.

That is why I am so grateful for every circumstance in my life, even the most painful. Each and every event has given me a better understanding of myself and helped me to discover who I was meant to be.

Letting yourself heal from a wound is not for the faint of heart. You have to pull back the bandage and examine the injury. Once you gauge the true nature of the condition then and only then can you begin the recovery.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Disappointment or Discovery

Although I am a very interested student I still find myself getting caught in old traps that are difficult for me to get out of. One of those things is expecting everything to work out exactly the way I want it to.

The funny thing about that is what may initially look like a disappointment always turns out to be a wonderful discovery of something that I needed! It is unbelievable how different it looks if you stop trying to control the outcome and just let it be what it is.

What I realize more every day is that we have to trust that everything happens for a reason and it always works out for the best!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Intention

I have always considered myself to be a very mindful person but recently I have learned how much more I can do. From "Ask and it is Given" there is a process called Segment Intending. Essentially this is to break down your day in very small pieces and set a positive intention for each of those segments.

Before I began this I was amazed how much time I let slip by throughout my day. Whether it was cooking dinner or getting ready for bed I was doing several things at once and not taking the time to set any deliberate intention about it.

Now I am experiencing an awareness and appreciation of even the smallest moments as I move through my day. Knowing that I have consciously decided how I want to spend my time is very satisfying.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Smile from the Heart

You can feel when someone is smiling from their heart. It is deep and tender. To witness that type of genuine happiness is infectious!

I have a friend who set out on a journey to find himself and change his life. He was so strong and courageous in seeking his path and now he is living the life he was meant for.

He is an amazing inspiration to me and what you can accomplish if you stay true to yourself. Whenever I think of him it makes me smile from my heart!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Tests

Just when I think I have learned something new the universe gives me a pop quiz. A little test to see if I really understand the lesson or if I’m just going through the motions.

I have to pay close attention and not lose focus. As my awareness increases I am able to see the divine and absurd in a way that might have previously escaped me.

Wanting something does not make it happen. Having faith and allowing it does, that is the real test. When I am challenged by doubt or disappointment that is when I have to ask for help and release my resistance so what I want can come into my life.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Abundance

Every day the abundance of life astounds me. Just to see the unbelievable events and circumstances that unfold when you pursue your dreams.

No matter what it is - there is nothing you cannot be, do or have if you hold it in your heart! I have learned that the only reason we don't get what we really want is because we don't let it into our lives.

I loved the movie "Under the Tuscan Sun", the heroine gets everything she wished for. We never know how those things will manifest so we have to trust in the eternal, limitless power of the universe and know we will have all that we want and need.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Contentment

I used to equate contentment with boredom. Over the passing years I have had so much change, challenge and excitement that being bored was highly unlikely.

Most of that was my testing the limits to discover what might be right for me. I didn't know if I liked something until I tried it, so I tried as much as possible!

Perhaps this is the appropriate next chapter - I have had those incredible experiences and now I am looking for a slower, sweeter pace and all the contentment that brings.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Strength

I find it very interesting when people underestimate me. Just because I am polite and soft-spoken they mistake me for weak. I can usually tell when someone thinks I can be bullied or controlled. They speak to me in a very condescending and demeaning way.

I give them the benefit of the doubt, knowing they have issues that I am not aware of and that it is not really about me. But if they persist and it is someone that I have continued contact with I have to show my strength. Just like the old Chinese proverb – Do not wake a sleeping tiger…

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Surprises

Surprises from the universe are little unexpected gifts that appear and brighten your day.

I love it when I have a dream or thought of someone and they call or contact me.... Or someone I've never met that shows up in the most unusual way.

Sometimes I feel the energy of those things before they arrive but sometimes it is just a lovely and pleasant surprise.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Enabling

Enabling actually has a very positive definition, it allows something to grow or develop. It is only when the support and encouragement is used to perpetuate bad or dysfunctional behavior that it becomes a problem.

I have really struggled with this and it goes along with my needing to set better boundaries for myself. Little by little I am learning to recognize when the assistance I am providing isn’t really helping at all. I see it much quicker now, so I know I am progressing.

It has always been important for me to stay connected to people in my life. I believe love and friendship should be kind and gentle not harsh or abusive. The first person I need to help and nurture is me, maybe then I can help someone else.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Grace

What a lovely word that is - Grace... It has so many different meanings, each one with a special beauty. Whether you're speaking of charm and refinement or goodwill and generosity it is always a compliment.

One of the nicest things anyone ever said to me was how gracious I was in handling a very delicate situation at work. When I think back on what was happening at the time I recall how torn I was over how I wanted to respond. Trust me, grace was not the first thing that came to mind!

In the end, choosing grace over rage felt like a gentler way to be honest without letting it become ugly. For me that was the best possible outcome because it allowed me to tell the truth but not hold onto any of the negativity. As much as I possibly can I will choose grace.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Confidence

To me, being self-confident is feeling comfortable with who I really am. Not someone else's idea or opinion of it.

That is something I have always struggled with, caring a little too much what others think of me. Naturally I am rather shy but I am also very friendly. I love people but I don't like being the center of attention or having the spotlight on me in any way. Someone told me once that I lacked confidence - they were very wrong!

My self-assurance comes from knowing who I am on the inside. There is a very fine line between confidence and arrogance and I would always rather err on the side of caution. Every day I learn a little more about myself and as I do it is easier to let some of that confidence shine.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is something I try to do for myself even when I'm not sure I can do it for someone else. The pain that causes me to withdraw or be upset can be over when I release the resentment that I have built up.

Before I can do that I must remember that the answer always lies with me. Whatever happened was because of something that I did or allowed. If I have unreasonable expectations, unclear boundaries or fail to see the truth in the situation there will be a problem. It is easier to blame others but I have to take responsibility for my own thoughts and actions.

We all have different paths in life and I respect that. I am trying to be kinder to myself, learn my lesson and move on.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Opportunities

The great Anthropologist Margaret Mead said “We are continually faced with great opportunities which are brilliantly disguised as unsolvable problems”. That is the philosophy I grew up with. From a very early age I understood that even if they were less desirable there were always other options.

Whenever I find myself feeling limited or restricted I think back on some of the defining moments in my life. During those times I needed so desperately to have some hope of escaping what was happening. I would create every possible scenario I could think of… Truly some were very unrealistic but it did not matter, everything got equal consideration.

Then I would sort out what seemed to be the most reasonable course of action. I always trusted my heart to guide me, I knew how I was feeling could not be wrong. That set me on the path of where I am today, trusting and believing that everything is possible.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Education

What a fantastic education I have had …. Not your normal institutional instruction but incomparable life experience. My dear mother had such a hard life and struggled in ways that I can barely imagine to raise my brother and me. She was a single mother at a time that it was not only unheard of but shameful as well.

Every day she would get up before dawn, start the coffee and turn on the radio. She would lay out the clothes we had to wear to school. Even though they had come from the charity shop she made sure they were as clean and presentable as something brand new. She was determined to give us a better life than she had and she knew that a good education was the way to do that. What she did not realize was that she was teaching us something much more valuable – how to live and survive in the world.

Everything I have done and accomplished has been because of the incredible education she gave me!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Focus

I am what Barbara Sher refers to as a “Scanner”. I have so many ideas and interests that sometimes it is difficult for me to choose just one to focus on. When I was growing up that was called being scatter-brained and I was told that eventually I would have to settle down and do just one thing! I am so glad that I did not listen to that advice. It might be ok for someone else but it would never have satisfied me.

My life has been so full of wonderful experiences because of all the variety I have had. I have done things that would never have occurred to me if I had to sit down and pick one. Every time I do something it opens up a whole new realm of possibilities that I want to explore. My life is rich and full in ways that I can’t measure because of my lack of focus!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Kindred Spirit

I love to feel the connection with a kindred spirit, someone who really understands me. Not just what I say but how I feel. Of all the different types of relationships you can have this one may be the dearest of all.

Sometimes it is a good friend that calls and we begin to talk as if no time has passed. Our conversation is so easy and effortless... Sometimes it is someone new and I am thrilled and surprised to find we have so much in common that we are nodding our heads in agreement and laughing.

To relate to another person on that level is very moving. It is almost as if everything else fades away except for the interaction you are having. It is one of the most intimate bonds you can share with another person. It affirms who I am and touches my soul.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Passages

Many years ago I worked with a group called Passages, helping Women in Transition. Even though most of the focus was on women reentering the work force it had a much broader scope. Just like many of the books by Gail Sheehy, she talks about what we experience as we pass through different stages of our lives.

Sometimes we make the choice to change but more often life thrusts the change upon us. It is those times that we can choose what is really right for us. If we get caught up in our current circumstance we may not be able to see the window of opportunity that is open. I have learned to welcome those changes and now I get very excited waiting to see what new adventure awaits me.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Courage

Amelia Earhart wrote - Courage is the price that
life exacts for granting peace. I believe that is true.

We don't get handed a trouble free pass when we arrive in this world. It is a daunting mission to be sure. But if we are strong and brave enough we will overcome the obstacles and reap the rewards. It may not be easy but it is always worthwhile.

I have learned to ask myself what is the worst case scenario? Will I die, will someone I love be injured? Usually, that isn't even remotely possible. So why not try it?

Several years ago I traveled to New Zealand to hike some of the infamous treks there. It was the trip I had dreamed of for many years. A few weeks before leaving I developed a sudden back pain. So bad I thought I might not be able to go. After getting it checked to make sure it wasn't something serious I realized it was fear. Not your normal variety but something this side of sheer terror. I had never been so far away from home before and I had no idea of what to expect.

It occurred to me while I was hiking through the rain forest on the south island that I had done it! I came to this unbelievable place and had an unforgettable experience because I had the courage to overcome my fear!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Secrets and Lies

"People of the Lie" by M. Scott Peck is a dark and disturbing account of how people give up their true selves to be accepted. Keeping secrets or telling lies is a desperate attempt to make something appear different than it is. We try to hide the truth in order to cover up the fear and insecurity underneath.

Lying is very complex and can damage your self-esteem. You have to constantly be on guard to maintain the pretense, always keeping track of everything so no one will know the truth. When I was young I learned very quickly that you will get caught and then you are ashamed and humiliated.

You can justify that you are doing it to spare someone or to help yourself but none of that is really true. We do it because telling the truth can be scary and difficult. It always amazes me when people think they are able to deceive others with their elaborate stories and situations. Usually, the longer and more involved the explanation the further it is from the truth. I like the concept of Occam's Razor - the simplest explanation tends to be the right one.

I value honesty in my life and I know that has to begin with me. If I can be brutally honest with myself, then I can honor my truth with others.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Exposed

I was a very a shy little girl and friends and family know that the circumstances of life have sent me more inward than outward. Privacy and solitude have been the hallmarks of my life. My biggest desire was to fit in, blend in and never stand out.

Now, in writing my stories and this blog I have exposed myself. Taking this risk has been a long time coming but it is time for me to actually let this part of myself be seen. I have so much passion inside of me and I have been very afraid to let it out and seldom let it be seen by others.

The fear was if I showed anyone my true self they might not love or accept me. Wow – that is hard to even write down but it is the absolute truth! Now I am a bit braver and the more I discover about myself the more I am willing to reveal.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Living Life in Reverse

It is very interesting to me when I hear other people talking about their lives. How growing up was such a great experience and all the hopes and dreams they had. Many of them now look back on a life unlived with regrets of what they did not do or accomplish.

I see people who resist or deny aging, trying to recapture a lost youth hoping to escape the disappointment they feel. I am so grateful for every experience I have had and know that I would not be the person I am or have the life I have now if I hadn't had my disappointments early in life. I don't regret one single moment that brought me to this wonderful place.

I truly love my life and it just keeps getting better - maybe that explains why the older I get the younger I feel!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Letting Go

Sometimes we have to let go of something in order to move on with our lives. Holding onto people or expectations can hold us back. When we don’t allow ourselves to change and evolve we can get stuck in old and unhealthy patterns.

I am learning that making those changes does not have to be harsh or unkind, just honest. I know in my heart when something needs to be released. I have to care enough about myself to let that happen. I am a classic enabler – needing to be needed was more important than taking care of me. Now I have to take care of my own needs and save the healthiest.

It can be very frightening to take that leap, but for me letting go of the fear feels like pure freedom.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Order

When I feel indecisive or unclear about something in my life it is usually because I have spread myself too thin or let things get out of control. Being scattered mentally and physically overwhelms me and that is when I have to stop and regroup.

Sometimes it is as simple as clearing off my desk or shutting off the phone that helps me regain some sense of order and harmony. The noise of the world can be deafening and I need the quiet serenity that allows me to hear that voice inside. That is the time when I can ask myself what I really want and need to do. The answer always comes easily and gently and I can see clearly again.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Pearls of Perfection

All through history different cultures have had some belief about perfection in imperfection. For the Native American it was adding an intentional mistake to their weaving or sand painting. The Amish would add a “Humility Block” to their quilts. The Japanese had the philosophy of Wabi Sabi; nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect.

This was a profound discovery to me while I was searching for my true self. I had always been raised that perfection without flaw was the only worthwhile goal. In my mind nothing could be further from the truth. Now I believe in pursuing excellence not perfection.

It is only in appreciating the imperfect in life that we find true and everlasting beauty.
A perfect oyster does not form a pearl!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Losing Energy

Sometimes I lose my energy, sometimes I give it away and sometimes I let it be taken from me.... How to manage that and keep appropriate boundaries has always been a big challenge for me. I have to work at it every day.

I can always tell when I am losing more energy than I am getting - I feel a bit low and my spirit starts to sag. I need to keep my resources replenished so I have the strength to keep going.

It is so easy for me to give my energy away, I love people and I'm very receptive to them. The problem I have is setting limits and very often I give too much and I am left drained. Just like what I wrote the other day, I need to find the middle ground. I owe it not only to myself but to others as well so they can learn self reliance.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Temperance

When I was younger I lived in a world of intense emotion, always bouncing between extreme highs and lows. I married very young and I missed the normal process of discovering who I really was so I was searching for the place that felt right.

It has taken my entire life but I am now feeling a calm strength that I can only call temperance. It is like the metal that is made stronger by the temperature of the heat it is forged with.

To be more moderate and finding that middle ground has helped me to know my true self. Even when I slip back into some form of excess I can center myself and regain my balance. That is the place that I find peace and joy.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Music

When I'm happy I find myself singing some silly old song. Usually it’s something from the Wizard of Oz or Doris Day. I dance and play like I did when I was a girl and I am instantly young again!

Music has always been a big part of my life. My mother was a singer and avid dancer, my brothers were musicians, my daughters played and sang beautifully and I sang in my school choir. Also, I grew up in the 60s and enjoyed some of the most incredible music in the world.

One of my fondest memories was when my sister took me to a dance to see my brother’s band playing. I was only 10 or 11 and very shy but I was so enchanted with the music and the atmosphere. I felt like Cinderella going to the ball. My sister bought me a lovely summer dress and fixed my hair like hers, I felt like a princess that day.

The thought of it transports me back to a place in time that I will never forget. Just the way listening to some great song that I grew up with fills my heart with joy!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Clearing

It isn't Springtime in the Rockies yet, but every year around this time I am filled with excitement and anticipation. I can feel the energy of new life making its way toward the warmth and sunshine. Native Americans called it the "Quickening" that time when life stirs just before birth.

This is when I begin my clearing to make room for what is to come. Mentally, physically and spiritually cleaning house, preparing for that wondrous new growth.

It is time to sort through everything that has been carefully stored away. I must bless and release those thoughts and things that hold me in the past so I can continue on my journey.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Slow Down

I am really enjoying writing these posts. It gives me a chance to slow down and appreciate the thoughts and experiences of every day. I think about what I am learning right now and what is showing up in my life that I need to pay attention to.

We are all so busy it is easy to just let time fly by. Before you know it your life is gone. The only thing I don't want is to get to the end of my life and have regrets for those things I did not do. I want to savor and appreciate every beautiful moment this life has to offer!

There is a lovely quote from Bobby Clancy of the Clancy Brothers (Irish music fame) that I love!

One life is all you have, slow down before you lose it.
For it seems a crime, to make good time
and then not live to use it!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Faith

To me faith is a total and ultimate belief in something that you cannot see or touch but you know exists.

At a very early age we are taught what our parents and our community believes. What to think, how to act, how to feel... and we are expected to conform. Don Miguel Ruiz writes about this in The Four Agreements, it is one of the ways that we are domesticated.

I was very fortunate to have an unusual life growing up. The circumstances were difficult and painful but I learned so much from all of it. Through it all I had faith! Faith that I would discover what was true for me and that everything that happened was for my highest good.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Friendship

Throughout our lifetime people come and go. All of the relationships are important and help us to learn but there are some that are so special - we call them friends.

Of all the connections we can make this may be the best of all. A friend is someone who reminds you how great it is to be alive and lifts you up with their wonderful spirit. They are the person you can trust to be both honest and kind. They listen and support even your wildest dreams and always accept you just the way you are.

Loving and reliable they honor what you believe even if they don't agree with it. Just spending an afternoon at a lovely French restaurant or browsing through some local shops is so peaceful and satisfying when the person you are with is your friend!

Friday, February 5, 2010

Play

In the movie Star Trek: Insurrection - Data is told if he wants to know what it is like to be a child he must learn how to play.

All too often children face grown up responsibilities or suffer adult traumas and their childhood vanishes. When we are young we need to discover all the magic and wonder in the land of make believe. We pretend to be queens and kings and imagine that we might be able to fly.... Our imaginations are limitless and everything feels possible.

As a young girl I would go to the neighborhood library, sit on the floor and read stories about amazing people and exotic places. I believed that one day it would be me in those stories. Now, it is. This is my life and I am learning to play!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Transformation

The only constant in life is change. I am learning to embrace and appreciate everything that comes into my life as a new opportunity for growth. Some days I am better at that than others but when I think of how far I have come I know it is all worthwhile.

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful man named Leo Buscaglia. As I sat in a darkened classroom watching a film of one of his lectures, his words brought tears to my eyes. I looked around the room to see if anyone else was having this reaction.... my life was forever changed.

I have to always remember to stay true to myself. I can't be something I'm not but I can aspire to be the best possible me. When it is quiet and I can let my inner most passion and energy surface I can feel the transformation taking place.

We can't undo anything that has happened. Honestly, I wouldn't even want to but we can redo and change our lives into anything we want them to be!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Dreams

I have always been a dreamer... literally and figuratively. It is only recently that I have discovered how those dreams really can come true!

My night dreams give me valuable information about what I am feeling and help me to know the right way to proceed. My day dreams are incredible, full of clarity and inspiration. I have to stay clear and focused on the unlimited possibilities in life and not let my critical mind dismiss or dampen them.

Dreams are a heart's desire to express itself. We owe it to ourselves to explore everything that speaks to our soul.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Synergy

Synergy means joint work and cooperative action, when the result is greater than the sum of the parts. It is created when things work in concert together to create an outcome that is in some way of more value than the total of what the individual input is.

Recently I had a conversation with a total stranger and before long she was telling me about a woman she knows with breast cancer. In an effort to help, she goes to work for this woman one day a week so she can go to her chemotherapy treatments and not lose time at her job!

I know many people who are reaching out to help someone cope with debilitating illness or crisis in their lives. That type of energy lifts me up and inspires me in ways I cannot express. I believe we all have something very valuable to contribute and together can create something far greater than we could have on our own.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Celebration

The Celebration begins! February is a fantastic month - not only is it when I was born but it has such wonderful energy. The days are beginning to get longer, spring is approaching and I am ready to waken from my long winters sleep.

I look forward to my birthday every year with the anticipation of a child! I love the process of aging and all the changes it brings. Most people think I am out of my mind but I am very happy to be at this stage of my life. Everything I've ever been through has brought me to this place in time.

It's all a matter of perspective - just like the old saying "Age is mind over matter - if you don't mind, it doesn't matter"! I intend to be a healthy, happy, vibrant old woman! Birthdays are a fabulous acknowledgement of life and that is why I celebrate all month long!

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Peace

There is something so peaceful about spending a quiet day at home. To do whatever I want or nothing at all! I always try to have at least one day on the weekend that I don't make any plans or think about what needs to be done.

Sunday was always my mom's favorite day of the week. She liked to go to the mountains for a picnic if the weather was nice. I would rather stay in and enjoy my home. Read, go for a walk, watch an old movie and cook a nice dinner. Now that is my idea of a lovely day!

As I grow older I am finding so many ways to enjoy my life. I let my soul be my compass. I follow where ever it leads and know I will find peace and joy!

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Big Rocks

In First Things First, Stephen Covey talks about Putting the Big Rocks in First. It is all about deciding what your biggest priorities are and making sure you put them first - otherwise you may not have room!

I have a dear friend who has always understood and lived this simple concept. She has been a great inspiration to me in many ways - somehow she seems to find that perfect balance of caring for her family but also taking care of herself.

This wasn't an issue for me when I was raising my children because they were always my top priority. It was after they left home that I struggled with what I really needed and wanted for my own life. I began working unbelievable hours in very stressful and toxic environments. It took me a long time to realize that if I didn't take care of myself I would not be able to do anything for me or anyone else.

Now I understand what is really important and try to put my Big Rocks in first!

Friday, January 29, 2010

Magic Happens

It was 1965 and The Lovin' Spoonful sang "Do You Believe in Magic?". I have experienced so many things in my life that I would never have believed possible but it keeps getting better and better and I have become a true believer! Even as a young girl I knew I was here for a reason and that somehow my life would be worthwhile.

Now, all these years later I understand how that humble beginning brought me to this place of magic and wonder.

Tonight was the biggest and brightest full moon of 2010 and it stopped me in my tracks when I saw it rise as the sun was setting.... Unbelievable how beautiful and surreal it seems - just like my life!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Cooking to Soothe the Soul

I love to cook! There is something very nurturing about preparing a lovely, nutritious meal. I enjoy cooking for others but I also love to do it for myself. It is so comforting and relaxing to take the time to slow down and enjoy the entire experience. It gives me a great deal of pleasure and reminds me how important it is to take care of myself.

I used to bake bread to relieve stress. The combination of working my frustration out on the dough and then having the reward of a wonderful loaf of fresh bread when I was done was fantastic! I learned that the kitchen can be a great place to practice a little self appreciation!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Trust

Today I got a great reminder that I am a work in progress....
My positive "all is right with the world" attitude gets challenged on a regular basis. I need to remember that this is a process and there will be some bumps along the way.

A few days ago I wrote about the power of truth. It is very disheartening to me when I am honest with someone and they deceive me. I trust people until they prove otherwise. I think it was Maya Angelou who said "When people show you who they are believe them"!

I know everything happens for a reason and if something did not work out for me it means that there is something better coming. I have to trust that it will all happen exactly as it should!

So when I'm feeling like this I go through my mental checklist of what makes me feel good and get myself back on track. Today it was too cold for a walk so I wrote for a while, made some nice homemade soup, listened to Eric Clapton on the stereo and I feel much better!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Unspeakable Joy

Unspeakable Joy - Just saying that makes me smile! Knowing that I have the choice of what I want my life to be is very empowering. I can choose joy or sorrow, delight or despair, fear or excitement - it is all up to me.

I don't know who wrote it but there are lyrics to a song that I just love. "If I live to be a hundred I'll die young - Life is like a ladder, I'll dance on every rung - If I live to be a hundred I'll die young!"

Every morning I wake grateful to have another day. For every new day holds the fantastic potential for Unspeakable Joy!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Receiving

In the book "Ask and It Is Given" they call it The Art of Allowing. What dreams and desires are possible in our lives if we were to simply let them in? For me that means to stop controlling what I think it should be and let it be what it is.

Looking at that tapped into some very old and negative thoughts for me. Am I worthy or do I deserve this? I can now say YES - I do deserve all the goodness this world has to offer and so do each one of us!

I had a wonderful experience with a woman in Ireland. She was doing career counseling at a local resource center but I have to say she was much more than that! I was concerned about all the work we were doing and if I was taking too much of her time. All she said was "You are worth it". Just those few simple words touched me so deeply because in over 50 years no one had ever said that to me!

Now, I say it to myself daily and believe everything is possible all I have to do is receive it!