Enabling actually has a very positive definition, it allows something to grow or develop. It is only when the support and encouragement is used to perpetuate bad or dysfunctional behavior that it becomes a problem.
I have really struggled with this and it goes along with my needing to set better boundaries for myself. Little by little I am learning to recognize when the assistance I am providing isn’t really helping at all. I see it much quicker now, so I know I am progressing.
It has always been important for me to stay connected to people in my life. I believe love and friendship should be kind and gentle not harsh or abusive. The first person I need to help and nurture is me, maybe then I can help someone else.