Sunday, February 15, 2015

What I Gave Up

It occurred to me recently just how much I have changed in the past 10 years and how wonderful it is that I can now put some of those old issues behind me and really move on with my life.  In order to do that I really needed to finally give up some of those things that were holding me back.

  • Being a victim - I never was very good at it anyway.  I am far too stubborn and independent.
  • Abusive relationships - I care enough about myself to not let anyone hurt me physically or emotionally.
  • Friends who really weren't - This was tough for me, I found it harder to separate from them than an abusive lover. 
  • Being manipulated by someone who says they care - If they really cared they would not do this.
  • Needing to be needed by anyone - I no longer need the validation of someone being dependent on me.
  • Trying to fix someone who is broken - It is not my job to change anyone, they get to be exactly who they are.
  • Helping someone who has no desire to help themselves - Really just code for Enabling.
  • Being Unhappy - I have an amazing life and am very grateful for it.
  • Feeling bad about myself because someone else is petty or shallow - I finally have found true self respect and will not let anyone put me down or make me feel less than I am.
  • Spending time with people who do not deserve me - My time and energy are very valuable and life is much too precious to waste on those who cannot appreciate me or what I have to offer.
  • Worrying - It's just borrowing trouble and giving energy to what I don't want to happen.
  • Control - Everything happens for a reason and for the best, I have to let it be.
  • Holding myself back - I am going full speed ahead into this wonderful life and enjoy every single minute of it!

Mom, Margaret and Country Music

I will never forget the Saturday nights we spent with my mom's friend Margaret and her family.  Usually, the adults were playing cards, drinking with country music blaring on the record player.  Sometimes we would all dance together in the living room or watch Porter Wagoner and Dolly Parton on the small black and white television.

I can't hear Hank Williams, Patsy Cline or any of the legends without remembering just how it felt to be that small, shy little girl getting her first glimpse of a very grown-up world.... 

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Unconditional Love

When I spend time with my beautiful grandchildren I learn the true meaning of unconditional love.  To experience that pure, limitless affection fills my heart with unspeakable joy. 

We have a special routine in the morning where they climb into my bed and we cuddle and talk until it's time to get up.  These are the most precious moments of all. 

I have struggled with low self esteem most of my life but to see myself through their innocent and loving eyes makes me feel like the most adored person in the world!