Friday, June 30, 2017

Last Wish

Today is the 25-year anniversary of my mother’s passing.  She was a very lively and vibrant 69-year-old woman who gave her entire life to her children and grandchildren.  I miss her every single day.

Now at 61, it’s even more clear to me just how very short and precious life can be.  My thoughts turn to my own children – my 2 beautiful and beloved daughters who can only begin to understand the immense love that I have for them. 

Being their mother gave my life purpose and joy that without them I would never have known.  Even as I carried them I knew they would change my life forever but I did not know of the unspeakable love they would bring into my life.

Watching them grow into the beautiful, strong women and mothers that they are has filled my heart in ways that I did not believe was possible.  To see my precious grandchildren happy and so full of life and love is a joy I could never have dreamt of.  My heart had to grow to hold all the love they give!

If today were to be my last, there would be no regrets, just a heart full of gratitude for an incredible life and one last wish that my family know that because of them I have had a truly wonderful life!

Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me - Gladys Knight 
I've had my share of life's ups and downs
But fate's been kind, the downs have been few
I guess you could say that I've been lucky
Well, I guess you could say that it's all because of you

If anyone should ever write my life story
For whatever reason there might be
You'll be there between each line of pain and glory
Because you're the best thing that ever happened to me
You're the best thing that ever happened to me

Oh, there have been times when times were hard
But always somehow, I made it, I made it through
Because for every moment that I've spent hurting
There was a moment that I spent, just loving you.

Thursday, May 18, 2017

43 Days

43 Days, 60 years and almost 24 hours - that is the amount of time that it has taken me to transform my point of attraction.  To come to the total awareness that I truly am the creator of my own life. 

Like putting together pieces of an elaborate puzzle I have been gathering knowledge and experience to arrive at this precise moment in time. 

Yesterday there was a tremendous shift in my understanding and awareness of this experience.  The ease and simplicity of it astounds me and the resistance and complexity humbles me.

What I was able to release for this to occur was immeasurable but now that I've broken free of old restrictions I can begin again from this entirely new vantage point...

Life Force

I am experiencing something that few people will understand.  My life seems to be slowing down and speeding up at the same time.  Slowing, in the sense that I don’t need or even like to rush through things anymore.  I take my time and enjoy the moment, savoring whatever delight that time holds for me.  Speeding up in how quickly I move to the next thing as soon as the deliciousness of that time has passed.  I no longer feel the need to stay and try to work something out, I can feel if it is right for me to continue or if it is time to move on.  I believe that it is the life force that is moving through me at those moments, propelling me forward at greater and greater speed. 

I have lived, loved and traveled more than I could ever have imagined and now I find my desire is like the cycle of life itself, forever changing.

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Law of Attraction

Throughout my life, I have read many books relating to Philosophy and Metaphysics.  In most of them I found a common thread woven throughout, the concept that whatever we put out into the world is what will come back to us.  The description may vary – you reap what you sow, karma, what goes around comes around, like attracts like etc. but all have the same underlying message that is now being referred to as the Law of Attraction.  Everything about this philosophy resonated deeply with me and has taken me on the journey of a lifetime.

There is something very profound and provocative about believing that I can be, do or have anything that I want.  I am learning to follow my heart instead of my mind and trust my intuition about what feels right for me.  Really I’m just an old hippie at heart with my existential beliefs coming back to the surface at this beautiful time in my life.  I remember every day that the purpose of life is to find joy.
Over the past 10 years my interest and awareness has increased to such a level that I am inspired to do something everyday to keep the momentum going.  I love knowing that I have the ability to dictate what is happening in my life, not because I can control the actions of others but because I have control of my own.

Invictus – William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeoning of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Growth - Expansion

Many years ago I heard Abraham-Hicks say "you can never be less than what you have become".  It resonated deeply with me when I heard it, but I did not fully realize what it meant until I tried to do something that was no longer right for me.

I have been very fortunate to have had a wonderful career, something I just happened upon and it evolved into what I would do for the next 20 years.  I have been toying with the idea of retirement and recently moved to Florida to explore the possibilities and really fell in love with it. 

Enjoying those peaceful mornings having coffee on my lanai, watching the gorgeous sunsets or walking to the farmer's market in town have been more than enough to keep me occupied these past few months.  I often wondered when did I have time for a full-time job? 

I'm still not sure what my motivation was but when I was offered a new contract assignment I accepted the job.  Not only did I have to go back to work, but I had to fly 2,000 miles away to do it.  Living in hotels, spending endless hours at airports and on crowded planes is no way to live. 

I suppose I thought that if I was happy where I was living and just worked on a short-term basis I would be ok until I fully retired - I was wrong.  In a very short amount of time it became clear to me that I could no longer do this.  I was not eating or sleeping properly and my health was already beginning to suffer. 

What I've learned from this experience is that you can not go back.  As your life changes and grows you must keep moving forward.  Always on to the next thing, expanding and increasing in order to be who you are meant to become.

Sunday, September 11, 2016

My Magic Wand

Years ago when I was working and encountered any sort of problem or difficulty I would tell my team that I would just bring in my magic wand and that everything would work out.  I actually had one that I purchased from a local Renaissance Festival - it was beautiful twisted metal wand with a gorgeous crystal attached, but that is not what held the magic.  It was attitude about the situation.

Somehow, I always knew that something good would happen and it would always work out for the best.  Call it serendipity, happenstance or just plain luck, whatever it was I understood that the more positive expectation I had, the faster it would come.  This was a belief I held in all areas of my life.  It seemed like as soon as I joked about it and let go of any attachment then - poof, it would appear!

Yesterday, was just that kind of day.  It began simply enough, I was traveling from Fort Lauderdale to Fort Myers, Florida and had scheduled a shuttle from the airport to take me on the short 2 hour trip.  It seemed like a great option I love land journeys, they are very relaxing and you get to see areas that you miss by flying.

As always, I arrived extra early because I don't like to rush if I don't have to.  That is another bonus of being retired, I can take my time and set my own schedule.  So, as I'm patiently waiting at the airport, I felt very fortunate to not be getting on a plane, I had fun just wandering around and visiting with some of the nice people there.   As the pick-up time approached, I went to the designated area and waited there.  When the shuttle did not arrive on time I rang the office to check on the schedule and they said they were running a few minutes late.  No worries, I was fine standing in the fresh air just watching the people go by. 

While I was waiting I met a lovely young couple from Australia who were traveling to visit family in the area.  I love meeting new people wherever I go so it was very nice to chat to them while we waited for the shuttle.  I am a very patient traveler and know that delays happen so I was not concerned until over an hour passed and still no sign of the shuttle.  The office was no longer answering our calls and my phone had completely died. 

After almost 2 hours we began to get a little anxious that they may not be coming at all and we needed to think of other options.  We all needed to be on the other side of the state that evening or we would have to make plans to stay where we were for the night and go tomorrow.  I don't like feeling trapped, I'm sure no one does, but my response is to find out what options are available. 

The golden rule of traveling is to stay flexible and be open to other possibilities, you never know what may happen.  You always have a choice when problems arise and it never helps to get upset or to be rude.  Calmly assess the situation and then decide how you want to proceed.

Fortunately, we were at the airport so had many options for alternate travel.  We could rent-a-car and drive over, we could hire a taxi to take us or we could fly.  All reasonable avenues, and more if we wanted to check into coaches or the train.  Literally the moment we began to decide what option we would prefer, the shuttle pulled up.

The driver was brusk and clearly had been having a very bad day, much worse than ours.  The bus was loaded with passengers that also seemed very tired and frustrated as well but now we were on our way.  At a short fuel break, I talked briefly to the driver and asked cautiously how he was doing.  It had been a very long day for him, he was actually the owner of the company and had a driver that didn't come in so he had been driving since 4 am and was trying to get all of his customers to their designated locations throughout the state.  He was so warm and friendly and immediately the atmosphere changed for the entire journey.

Sometimes the best things come from the strangest of circumstances.  After arriving safely, having a great dinner and good night’s sleep I thought about what a great day that it had been.  I met some wonderful people and got to see some lovely parts of the state that I'm moving to, everything worked out perfectly.

Perfect does not mean that everything goes to plan.  It means that it works out for the best, usually in a way that will surprise and delight you!

I no longer have that magic wand but its power is always with me as long as I remember to expect the very best outcome possible and know that it will happen.

Friday, September 2, 2016

This is My Mindfulness

It is precious and rare that I find myself so totally immersed in the moment that I don’t even have a thought.  Looking out at the clear water, with only the gentle sound of the waves lapping at the shore, I can feel pure peace in my soul.  It’s in these moments that I am overcome with emotion to realize how wonderful my life really is. 

Everything Happens for a Reason

There are no mistakes, no missteps, no accidents ever.  Everything that has ever occurred in my life has brought me to this place.  A place more incredible than I ever could have imagined in my wildest dreams.  When I look back at the road that lead me here I see a maze of people, places and events that you would never expect to culminate in such an amazing way. 

The truly unbelievable part of all of this is that this is just the beginning.  Everything that will come from this is a new and exciting part of my journey.  Something unknown and unexpected but always wonderful beyond belief.

You Get What You Ask For

I smiled when I started writing this post today because the screen saver I have on my laptop is a picture I took while sitting at the shore of the Caribbean Sea in Mexico earlier this year.  I had the same sense of wonder and awe that day and thought how lovely it would be to live in that environment.  Now here I am, just six months later and have a stunning water view right outside my door. 

I begin each day by sitting quietly, looking out at the water and end it watching the glorious sunset into the horizon.  Sometimes it feels like a dream or a beautiful fantasy but it is real and I know that as I continue to appreciate all that there is, that there will be more. 

It Just Gets Better and Better

It makes me laugh when I see how some of the pieces came together, not usually something I would have planned but always perfect for what needed to happen to get me to the next step. 

That is something that I am learning, life doesn’t grow by leaps and bounds, it evolves one moment at a time.  If you’re not paying attention it will disappear the same way. 

Stop and Appreciate

Some people say that life is short and I suppose for some it can be.  For me, it isn’t about the length but about the amount of joy that it brings.  I have had so many different experiences in my life, some great and others truly painful but they all have given me the gift of what I needed to learn in order to grow and move on in my life and for that I am profoundly grateful.  It makes it very easy to appreciate each and every thing because I know it always brings me to a better place.

Be Where You Are Right Now

One of the best lessons I am learning is how to be in the moment.  It is hard for me not to feel like I should race on to the next thing at the speed of sound.  The minute something good comes into my life I am so excited that I’m on to the next.  What I’m beginning to realize is that if I’m going too fast I will miss the experience of having this perfect moment in time. 

Right now I will try to stay where I am, right here, right now and savor every delicious moment.