A year ago, my life was very different.
I was still recovering from a previous Covid-19 infection
and being treated for the atrial fibrillation it had caused.
I was looking forward to my follow-up appointments with my
doctors, hoping to discuss ways to improve my quality of life and, perhaps,
discontinue the medication that had caused me serious side effects.
After my check-up, the cardiologist agreed to let me stop
the medication—pending one final test to confirm that there were no other
heart-related issues.
That test turned out to be the one that literally saved my
life.
It wasn’t my heart, but a small nodule on my lung that
looked suspicious. That’s when the journey truly began.
After a series of additional tests and biopsies, I was
diagnosed with lung cancer. Because it was detected so early, the doctor was
optimistic—it was operable, and we would "treat to cure."
Those words resonated deeply with my daughter, who was with
me at the appointment at the cancer center.
In the days that followed, she continued to remind me of
what the doctor had said. It hadn’t fully sunk in for me yet. I was still
reeling from the news that I had cancer, overwhelmed with the memory of my own
mother, who had passed away years earlier from the same disease.
What ensued can only be described as stepping into a
hurricane—a force of activity, both physical and emotional, that pushed me
forward through this process.
Now, just a few months later, here I sit. Cancer free, contemplating what my new life
will look like.
Part of me feels like I should get back to my life, but
there is no going back to “normal”—not after going through that experience.
So now, I need to decide what I do want to do next. My
instinct is to shift gears and move forward into something new as soon as
possible.
The challenge is to just take a break and breathe. To
actually take the time to feel and process all that has happened in such a
short amount of time. To let what comes unfold organically and not try to rush
through this.
Right now, I am trying to find peace in the pause.
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