Finding Peace in the Pause After Cancer

 A year ago, my life was very different.
 
I was still recovering from a previous Covid-19 infection and being treated for the atrial fibrillation it had caused.
 
I was looking forward to my follow-up appointments with my doctors, hoping to discuss ways to improve my quality of life and, perhaps, discontinue the medication that had caused me serious side effects.
 
After my check-up, the cardiologist agreed to let me stop the medication—pending one final test to confirm that there were no other heart-related issues.
 
That test turned out to be the one that literally saved my life.
 
It wasn’t my heart, but a small nodule on my lung that looked suspicious. That’s when the journey truly began.
 
After a series of additional tests and biopsies, I was diagnosed with lung cancer. Because it was detected so early, the doctor was optimistic—it was operable, and we would "treat to cure."
 
Those words resonated deeply with my daughter, who was with me at the appointment at the cancer center. 
 
In the days that followed, she continued to remind me of what the doctor had said. It hadn’t fully sunk in for me yet. I was still reeling from the news that I had cancer, overwhelmed with the memory of my own mother, who had passed away years earlier from the same disease.
 
What ensued can only be described as stepping into a hurricane—a force of activity, both physical and emotional, that pushed me forward through this process.
 
Now, just a few months later, here I sit.  Cancer free, contemplating what my new life will look like.
 
Part of me feels like I should get back to my life, but there is no going back to “normal”—not after going through that experience.
 
So now, I need to decide what I do want to do next. My instinct is to shift gears and move forward into something new as soon as possible.
 
The challenge is to just take a break and breathe. To actually take the time to feel and process all that has happened in such a short amount of time. To let what comes unfold organically and not try to rush through this.
 
Right now, I am trying to find peace in the pause.