Wednesday, April 12, 2023

It's the Little Things

I have been traveling for 6 months now and I am always amazed and delighted by the wonderful people that I meet along the way.  

Today as I went out for a few errands, I encountered many who were just going about their day.  Most were in a rush and not particularly pleasant, one was very rude.

When I arrived back at the hotel, I asked the housekeeper for some coffee to take back to my room.  She was so helpful and polite I wanted to give her a small tip.  

Inadvertently, instead of giving her two single dollars, I gave her a twenty-dollar bill and a single.  

I paused for a moment before realizing that not only did she deserve it, but I hoped it would be a nice surprise when she sees it later.

Here in the US, wages for service workers is abysmal.  Honestly, anyone who will clean up after me deserves more than I can give them.

I hope she remembers the gesture but not my room, I want her to be able to accept this very small token of my appreciation for all that she does.




Thursday, March 30, 2023

30 Day Reboot

It’s that time of year again.  The time when I begin to feel a bit restless and in need of a change.  I don’t feel stuck, just a little less interested in my usual routine.


Time passes so quickly that I forget to stop and reassess where I want to be.  All of those things that I thought about doing so many months ago, but never did, now don’t feel so important or interesting.

Being retired, I don’t have the commitment of work and yet my life is full and busy and for that I am grateful.  Now, I am ready for something new.

Time for a Change

I have to be careful when I’m feeling this way as I have a tendency to make radical changes, like moving houses or even leaving the country.  I don’t need to go to that extent if I can just find some new ways to revitalize my outlook.

What I have learned is that all change actually happens from within and that is where I need to start.  So, I have created a personal challenge that will help me to reset my perspective and allow some fresh ideas to surface.

Be Easy About It

What I am looking for is a gentle shift, not a huge leap.  Some way of opening up to some new things without having to throw out the old. 

One thing I will do more of is meditate.  Spending just 10 minutes a day, sitting quietly is so simple that I forget how much power there is in reconnecting with my spirit.

When I do that, it seems that I feel lighter, and more creative ideas come to me. 

Do What You Love

Something that never fails to soothe my soul is to go out in nature.  No matter what the weather is, I always love just walking in a park.  I go during off hours so I can be alone and just experience the peace.
 
This year, I started a small vegetable garden.  It has been so satisfying to care for the plants and watch them grow.  It is a lovely reminder of the cycle of life.

Have Fun

Part of the process for me is to remember to have more fun.  I have always been a very serious person so light-hearted fun is pure joy when I can let myself feel it.

Over the years, I have found that I enjoy many things but don’t often incorporate them into my daily life. 

Whether it is turning up the music and dancing while I’m cleaning house or cooking some new exotic dish, it doesn’t matter.  Just being playful is key to feeling happy.
 
Minimize Negative Influence

It is helpful for me to reduce outside interference in order to make sustainable changes. 

The big one for me is my phone.  I live alone so it is easy for that to be my biggest connection with the outside world, but it has become less of a tool for communicating and more of a time warp of senseless activity.  I catch myself scrolling through a flood of information that I don’t want or need in my life.

I remember when a phone was just a phone, not a mini-computer.

Television is another intrusion that I allow far too often.  I don’t need the constant input of bad news and excessive advertising. 

Maximize the Positive

It is easy to go through the day without stopping to think about how I am really feeling.  Every day there is an opportunity for me to look for the best things in the world around me. 

Something as simple as a friendly check-out clerk at the store or a lovely yellow butterfly on the bush in my yard.  Life is as wonderful as we let it be.

Many years ago, Bing Crosby sang “Accentuate the Positive – Eliminate the Negative”, that is my new mantra.

I can’t wait to see what delightful things I will discover on this new journey.
 
Do you feel a need for change at different times of the year?  What do you do when you are craving something new?  Share your stories and join the conversation.

Monday, March 20, 2023

Baking Bread and Setting Boundaries

I was grateful to be in the process of making bread when I received her text message.  She wanted to talk.  What about?  I had no idea, and after a year of not speaking, I felt sick to my stomach even thinking about it.

Kneading the dough, squishing, and pounding helped to relieve a little of the anxiety I was feeling about even hearing her voice.
 
Our last conversation had disintegrated into a full nuclear meltdown.  Full of so much ugliness and rage that I had no desire to speak to her and honestly did not know when I would.

She is my 50-year-old daughter, born when I was just 15 years old.  The amount of pain and anguish I went through to bring her into the world was enough to convince me that it would never be possible for me not to want her in my life – I was wrong.

Beating the dough harder, I thought of all the things I would like to say to her, but I knew she was probably not ready to hear any of them.

She loves confrontation and arguing, and she is very good at it.  Me – not so much.  It takes me back to when I was married to her father.
 
He was a jealous, controlling, abusive man.  I never knew what was going to set him off, so I worked very hard to avoid doing anything that I thought might upset him. 

The truth is, he never needed a reason.  He was so angry that he had been forced to marry me and blamed me for ruining his life.   
 
His mother was a kind and loving woman and I clung to her for whatever comfort I could find.

My mother was so disappointed in me that we barely spoke.  She lived close by but rarely came to visit.

Now, I felt the same judgement and coldness from my own daughter. 

I sent a message back that I could talk between 12:00 – 12:30, during my lunch break if that was a good time for her.  I thought setting a time limit would help to keep the conversation from going off the rails.

What I didn’t want was to cause any additional injury to this already damaged relationship.

It was 12:20 when she rang.  I was nervous but decided I would stick to my timeframe.  I began by telling her, I only had 10 minutes to talk so she would know that I needed to keep our conversation short.

She was calling to ask, in the event of my death, what my final wishes were.  A friend’s mother had passed unexpectedly, and she realized that she had no idea what I would want.
 
It was all very matter-of-fact and detached.  She went on to say that as the eldest, she expected to have to make some of those decisions.  I was taken aback, especially considering the current state of our relationship, and very happy that I had set the time limit.

She always has a way of catching me off guard and then when she doesn’t like my response an argument ensues. 

With less than 5 minutes left, I was able to think of the most appropriate response without getting emotional. 

I told her I had already taken care of my will and legal power of attorney in the event of any incapacity or death and would send her a copy.

Mercifully, the timer for my bread went off and our time was up.

I ended the call by telling her that I loved her and the children.  Honest, civil, and respectful.  I felt relieved and grateful that we could even speak for a few minutes without upsetting each other.

Just like not letting the bread dough rise too long, setting that simple boundary produced a better outcome that we have had in years.

Going forward, I will do more of this to maintain peacefulness in my life.
 
What have you learned late in life that has served you well?  Were there interpersonal relationships that felt out of control that you wish you could change?  Share your stories with the community!

Tuesday, January 24, 2023

Amazon eBooks

 

                                          Author Page

Saturday, January 14, 2023

Begin Again

Today I will start anew.  

Full of love and hope for a better tomorrow.  

A day that will bring justice and equality for all.  

A new beginning for a future we can all believe in. 


The Beginning – 
As I begin this journey of mine,
I will loosen my laces and remove my boots,
to protect me from absolutely nothing.
Crossing over into a world of color.
 - Michele Ledoux

Friday, January 13, 2023

Rollercoasters

I used to love to ride Rollercoasters, with all of the drama and excitement it felt like my life playing out at the amusement park.  

The never-ending series of ups and downs and twists and turns that left me dizzy from all the motion. 

Now, I prefer a peaceful ride on the Ferris Wheel, still moving but at a lovely pace and away from the chaos. 

Thursday, January 12, 2023

Set Your Intention

I have learned that I must set an intention for what I want in my life, right now and in the future. 

This is not about wishing and hoping for something that is out of my control.  

I have the ability to focus my thoughts and energy in a way that moves me closer to my desire.   


Wednesday, January 11, 2023

Wanderlust

There is nothing that spurs my wanderlust more than not being able to travel. 

I love being free to just pick up and go whenever I want.

This year will prove to be a little tricker, but I have no doubt I will manage to make it happen.

My list of the yet to be discovered is growing by the day and I can't wait to explore those fantastic new horizons!



Tuesday, January 10, 2023

Pure Silence

There have only been a few times in my life that I have experienced true peace and tranquility.  

The first time I really noticed it was while paragliding in Mexico.  I was a little nervous at first but when the wind caught the chute and took me up into the air, all my fear faded away.  

I was overcome with the beauty and silence as I floated above the water.


Monday, January 9, 2023

Finding My True Self

Sometimes, as we age, our true essence can begin to fade. A life that was once vibrant and grand can become subdued and pale. 

You continue on, day by day, with what needs to done and, in many ways, you feel like you are just going through the motions. When this happens, your spirit feels diminished.

After I turned 60, I began to believe that this new state of being was a natural progression and was simply a new pace that I would become accustomed to.

Rekindling the Vitality I Lost

There were aspects of myself that I felt must be a thing of the past, something from my youth that was not part of who I had become. I was not unhappy or unfulfilled, but, I had lost a great deal of the zest I had previously felt throughout my life.

At the very moment that I needed it most, I met someone kind and gentle who helped to coax me back to my true self. With a little tender persuasion, I quickly responded to all of the life I still had before me and realized how good it felt just to be alive.

There is a Spanish word that describes this reawakening perfectly – “reverdecer” – to make green again, to revive.

Now it feels as if my spirit has been renewed and I have a sense of hopefulness that I have not felt in a very long time. All of the sudden, everything feels possible again.

It Happens So Gradually

We don’t plan on letting ourselves slip away, but, it is so subtle that we may not even notice. Time passes and, slowly, we lose some of the drive that we once had.

It’s not until something dramatic occurs that we remember how we once felt. Then we rediscover all of the enthusiasm that we still have in our hearts.

Just like a daffodil that lay dormant during the winter, in the spring it sprouts and comes to life again. It even bursts out of the snow with a beautiful, irrepressible life-force that cannot be denied.

Reconnect With What Makes You Happy

Do whatever you can to restore and maintain your vitality. It doesn’t matter what it is. It doesn’t matter how big or how small it is – if it brings you joy, you owe it to yourself to do it.

If you can’t do some of the things you used to do, then it is time to find something new. It is never too late to create the life you want for yourself.

Anything that makes your heart smile will breathe new energy into your life.

There are so many wonderful ways to continue to nurture and feed our spirit and all of them make life worth living.

Sunday, January 8, 2023

Homeplace

Explore the world, travel near and far until you find the homeplace of your heart. 

Saturday, January 7, 2023

A Gentle Path

My journey is shifting yet again, this time it is a peaceful and easy change. 

What started out as a rocky and steep climb has evolved into a beautiful, scenic walk.  

The further I move along this road the more I realize that I do not need to struggle with the obstacles in my way.  

I just need to go around them to stay on that lovely, gentle path.

Friday, January 6, 2023

Gratitude and Appreciation

We've all heard it many times and many different ways during our lives. Count your blessings, give thanks, feel lucky for what you have, think of people who don’t have as much.  We understand the words, but seldom do we stop to think what they really mean.   

I'm not sure exactly when it occurred to me, but one day, I began to really understand what it means to be truly grateful.  Not just for the good things but for everything. 

When I started looking at my life in a new way it was very revealing.  As much as I thought I had been a grateful person, I realized I had been taking a lot for granted.  Not just the big things, but all of the small, seeming insignificant things that make up my life.

I started focusing on very specific things to appreciate, like my morning cup of coffee.  I wondered, what did it take for me to enjoy that simple pleasure?  

It had to be grown, picked, processed, distributed etc. by others who made it possible for me to sit at my kitchen table with little to no effort on my part.

Pouring a glass of clean water, sleeping in a comfortable bed, turning on the lights - the list goes on forever.  There is so much to appreciate and be grateful for.

What about when things go wrong?

The big shift occurred for me when I began to see problems as opportunities.  Something that would have upset me in the past, like an issue at work or something going wrong with my vehicle, became a challenge for me to find the best in the situation.

This was when I had to be more general and not so specific.  I was happy to have a job or a car, I felt fortunate to have the resources and ability to figure it out.  

I applied this philosophy to everything I could think of.  If it was a good experience, I thought about how much I appreciated having it.  When it didn’t feel so good, I thought about how grateful I was for the lesson and what positive aspects of it I could find. 

In the beginning it was a little difficult to always find the silver lining but with practice it became easier, and I’ve learned that even when I slip back into my old habits, I can quickly recover by simply remembering all that I have to be grateful for. 
 



Thursday, January 5, 2023

Obstacle or Opportunity

When an unexpected, seemingly difficult, situation arises it is easy to think about the worst-case scenario.  

Quickly my mind goes into fight or flight mode, and I struggle to find a solution that will distance me from the issue.

Unless I'm being chased by a bear this is usually an overreaction, but it doesn't feel that way at the time.

What I have to do is slow down and remember that every obstacle provides an opportunity for something new.

It may be how I am thinking or feeling about the circumstances or perhaps it is to guide me in a better direction.  

My challenge is to try to find the path of least resistance and remember that it will all work out just as it needs to. 



Wednesday, January 4, 2023

See the Beauty

There is more than enough seriousness to go around.  If I pay too much attention to it, it takes over my life. 

It is an ongoing lesson for me to look for all that is good in the world and there is a lot of it.

When I can do that, everything feels brighter, and I can see the beauty beyond the dark clouds.

"It's not what you look at that matters, it is what you see" - Henry David Thoreau






Tuesday, January 3, 2023

Feel Good

It's easy to think happy thoughts when we are feeling good, not so much when we aren't.  That is why it is important to develop a practice or something that will help to carry us through until we are feeling better.

One of my favorite quotes from Abraham Hicks is "You never get it done and you can't get it wrong."

No matter what is happening, life is always changing.  

I used to think that I had to work hard to eliminate unwanted things from my life.  What I am learning is that it is much easier to simply replace them with something, anything, that feels just a little bit better.

It doesn't take much to change the direction of your life, just consistently pay attention to how you feel and do more of anything that feels good.  

Something as simple as a casual walk can produce more positive results than furiously trying to get something done.

Be kind to yourself!


Monday, January 2, 2023

Something Wonderful

Many years ago, I was working at a very challenging job and desperately needed to find some peace.

I understood that what I was going through would not last and that it would all work out but remembering that was easier said than done.

One morning, before going to work, I jotted down a little note and tucked it away in my purse.

Every so often I still come across it and it makes me smile to see the perfect message to myself.







 

Sunday, January 1, 2023

Day 1 - New Year

With a new year, fresh start and new beginnings - all things are possible. 

I don't make resolutions, but I do like to set intentions.

This year I want to broaden my scope and clear some space for something new.

I am ready to trade the rituals and traditions that have served me so well in the past for a future that is unknown and limitless.

Now, I feel the need to explore in a way that I never have before.

Not just in the world, but within myself.

Wishing you a New Year filled with love and joy!