"People of the Lie" by M. Scott Peck is a dark and disturbing account of how people give up their true selves to be accepted. Keeping secrets or telling lies is a desperate attempt to make something appear different than it is. We try to hide the truth in order to cover up the fear and insecurity underneath.
Lying is very complex and can damage your self-esteem. You have to constantly be on guard to maintain the pretense, always keeping track of everything so no one will know the truth. When I was young I learned very quickly that you will get caught and then you are ashamed and humiliated.
You can justify that you are doing it to spare someone or to help yourself but none of that is really true. We do it because telling the truth can be scary and difficult. It always amazes me when people think they are able to deceive others with their elaborate stories and situations. Usually, the longer and more involved the explanation the further it is from the truth. I like the concept of Occam's Razor - the simplest explanation tends to be the right one.
I value honesty in my life and I know that has to begin with me. If I can be brutally honest with myself, then I can honor my truth with others.