Saturday, October 20, 2012

Days of Discontent

It isn’t often that I feel this way anymore. It used to be a chronic condition that I gratefully outgrew or more accurately learned to grow out of! When it happens it sweeps over me like a tidal wave – smashing everything in its wake. Even the little things that would normally bring a smile now get crushed under the heavy black cloud.

The intensity makes me want to disappear – leave everything and set off on a grand adventure. That is exactly what I did 6 years ago when without hesitation I packed one suitcase and moved to Europe for the best summer vacation I’ve ever had.

I suppose that is what I am craving right now – an escape. A total and complete departure from the soul crushing monotony that is the American life! There are joys in that life to be sure but today would not be the day that I am feeling it.

My dislike for this emotion is so immense that I know I will be forced to make some change in order to restore my normal joyful and positive outlook. But right now I am stuck in the frustration of the discontent and I need to just be kind to myself and try not to run away and join the circus!!

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