Finding Peace in the Pause After Cancer

 A year ago, my life was very different.
 
I was still recovering from a previous Covid-19 infection and being treated for the atrial fibrillation it had caused.
 
I was looking forward to my follow-up appointments with my doctors, hoping to discuss ways to improve my quality of life and, perhaps, discontinue the medication that had caused me serious side effects.
 
After my check-up, the cardiologist agreed to let me stop the medication—pending one final test to confirm that there were no other heart-related issues.
 
That test turned out to be the one that literally saved my life.
 
It wasn’t my heart, but a small nodule on my lung that looked suspicious. That’s when the journey truly began.
 
After a series of additional tests and biopsies, I was diagnosed with lung cancer. Because it was detected so early, the doctor was optimistic—it was operable, and we would "treat to cure."
 
Those words resonated deeply with my daughter, who was with me at the appointment at the cancer center. 
 
In the days that followed, she continued to remind me of what the doctor had said. It hadn’t fully sunk in for me yet. I was still reeling from the news that I had cancer, overwhelmed with the memory of my own mother, who had passed away years earlier from the same disease.
 
What ensued can only be described as stepping into a hurricane—a force of activity, both physical and emotional, that pushed me forward through this process.
 
Now, just a few months later, here I sit.  Cancer free, contemplating what my new life will look like.
 
Part of me feels like I should get back to my life, but there is no going back to “normal”—not after going through that experience.
 
So now, I need to decide what I do want to do next. My instinct is to shift gears and move forward into something new as soon as possible.
 
The challenge is to just take a break and breathe. To actually take the time to feel and process all that has happened in such a short amount of time. To let what comes unfold organically and not try to rush through this.
 
Right now, I am trying to find peace in the pause.
 
 
 
 

This is My Mindfulness

It is precious and rare that I find myself so totally immersed in the moment that I don’t even have a thought.  Looking out at the clear water, with only the gentle sound of the waves lapping at the shore, I can feel pure peace in my soul.  It’s in these moments that I am overcome with emotion to realize how wonderful my life really is. 

Everything Happens for a Reason

There are no mistakes, no missteps, no accidents ever.  Everything that has ever occurred in my life has brought me to this place.  A place more incredible than I ever could have imagined in my wildest dreams.  When I look back at the road that lead me here I see a maze of people, places and events that you would never expect to culminate in such an amazing way. 

The truly unbelievable part of all of this is that this is just the beginning.  Everything that will come from this is a new and exciting part of my journey.  Something unknown and unexpected but always wonderful beyond belief.

You Get What You Ask For

I smiled when I started writing this post today because the screen saver I have on my laptop is a picture I took while sitting at the shore of the Caribbean Sea in Mexico earlier this year.  I had the same sense of wonder and awe that day and thought how lovely it would be to live in that environment.  Now here I am, just six months later and have a stunning water view right outside my door. 

I begin each day by sitting quietly, looking out at the water and end it watching the glorious sunset into the horizon.  Sometimes it feels like a dream or a beautiful fantasy but it is real and I know that as I continue to appreciate all that there is, that there will be more. 

It Just Gets Better and Better

It makes me laugh when I see how some of the pieces came together, not usually something I would have planned but always perfect for what needed to happen to get me to the next step. 

That is something that I am learning, life doesn’t grow by leaps and bounds, it evolves one moment at a time.  If you’re not paying attention it will disappear the same way. 

Stop and Appreciate

Some people say that life is short and I suppose for some it can be.  For me, it isn’t about the length but about the amount of joy that it brings.  I have had so many different experiences in my life, some great and others truly painful but they all have given me the gift of what I needed to learn in order to grow and move on in my life and for that I am profoundly grateful.  It makes it very easy to appreciate each and every thing because I know it always brings me to a better place.

Be Where You Are Right Now

One of the best lessons I am learning is how to be in the moment.  It is hard for me not to feel like I should race on to the next thing at the speed of sound.  The minute something good comes into my life I am so excited that I’m on to the next.  What I’m beginning to realize is that if I’m going too fast I will miss the experience of having this perfect moment in time. 

Right now I will try to stay where I am, right here, right now and savor every delicious moment.

Rhythm

Being away from home and traveling with someone is helping me learn more about myself each day. I see that all people and places have their own tempo and pace.

Discovering my own personal rhythm is like feeling my heartbeat. When I remember to follow that I feel at peace.

Peaceful Days

Today I feel relaxed and at peace in the world. As I drifted off to sleep last night the only thing in my mind was how wonderful my life is.

I am so grateful to have more time to spend at home. Little things like cooking and cleaning at an easy pace is very satisfying. I appreciate everything a lot more when I slow down and enjoy the moments of my life.

The Eagles did a great song "Peaceful Easy Feeling” that describes me perfectly today!

Gaining Energy

There are those things that deplete our energy and things that give us energy. Spending quiet and peaceful time with a good friend is something that always replenishes my energy. To be with someone so kind and honest is an incredible thing, I can let my guard down knowing I am safe.

There is no pretense or judgment just a calm sense of being happy and comfortable together. It is amazing when you spend time with someone you love and respect, suddenly everything seems clear and simple. It becomes more apparent what I really need and want in my life.

Peace

There is something so peaceful about spending a quiet day at home. To do whatever I want or nothing at all! I always try to have at least one day on the weekend that I don't make any plans or think about what needs to be done.

Sunday was always my mom's favorite day of the week. She liked to go to the mountains for a picnic if the weather was nice. I would rather stay in and enjoy my home. Read, go for a walk, watch an old movie and cook a nice dinner. Now that is my idea of a lovely day!

As I grow older I am finding so many ways to enjoy my life. I let my soul be my compass. I follow where ever it leads and know I will find peace and joy!