Today I am focusing on appreciating everything good in my life. I want to deliberately seek out those things that make me happy and acknowledge them.
It is easy to do that when I am feeling good but days like today when I am a bit down it is very important to shift my focus. I am learning more and more that I have no control over anything except myself and my reaction in the world. What I do know is that good or bad each moment will pass and so I have to put my energy and focus on what I want not what I don’t want in my life.
It is a lovely spring day and I can’t begin to count all the wonderful things I have to appreciate!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Something for me
Recently a friend asked why I was writing this blog, what was the purpose? That was a very interesting question because I thought it would be obvious to someone who knows me… My answer was it is something just for me. It is an expression of my thoughts and feelings that I give voice to by putting in such a public forum.
Another friend summed it up very nicely – she described it as a conversation with myself. She also said I sounded very cautious and she is right. I have to be very careful to write what I am feeling and not edit it based on what someone else might think. That in itself is a very good exercise for me. I am used to filtering my words into something more easily accepted by others. Now it is time to let the real me shine and do something just for me.
Another friend summed it up very nicely – she described it as a conversation with myself. She also said I sounded very cautious and she is right. I have to be very careful to write what I am feeling and not edit it based on what someone else might think. That in itself is a very good exercise for me. I am used to filtering my words into something more easily accepted by others. Now it is time to let the real me shine and do something just for me.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Integration
My entire life has been a prelude to this stage of my journey. Finally after all of the years I can begin to integrate the different aspects of myself and my world. As I listen to other "women of a certain age" I realize that this is something many of us begin to do in our fifties. We needed the knowledge and experience from living our lives before this process could begin.
Just like any system you have to know and understand the various elements and how they fit together. I think the first chapters of our lives are trial and error. Growing and testing to see what feels right, merging and blending where we can. It is only after you have pieced all of that together, removing some things and adding others that we begin to see the larger picture. Now what emerges is a clearer image of what we want our lives to be…
Just like any system you have to know and understand the various elements and how they fit together. I think the first chapters of our lives are trial and error. Growing and testing to see what feels right, merging and blending where we can. It is only after you have pieced all of that together, removing some things and adding others that we begin to see the larger picture. Now what emerges is a clearer image of what we want our lives to be…
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Control
I find that the more heavily invested in the outcome I am the more control I try to have. The harder I try the less power I really have and that is usually when everything goes straight into the ditch!
All of that for me comes from fear – fear of the unknown. What will really happen if I let go and just let it be? My deepest insecurities rise up when I let fear take over. I feel frightened and unsafe and have to do something to protect myself.
My first instinct is to try to control or manipulate the situation so I feel comfortable again but that does not work. What works is to release control and trust that everything that happens is for my highest good!
All of that for me comes from fear – fear of the unknown. What will really happen if I let go and just let it be? My deepest insecurities rise up when I let fear take over. I feel frightened and unsafe and have to do something to protect myself.
My first instinct is to try to control or manipulate the situation so I feel comfortable again but that does not work. What works is to release control and trust that everything that happens is for my highest good!
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Positive Aspects
When I am experiencing some difficulty in my life it is not always easy to focus on the positive aspects of the situation. But, when I really think about how I am feeling I can change that fairly quickly.
Most of that is because I don't like the discomfort of the negative emotion. Anger, frustration, disappointment.... all of that is a big waste of time and energy. I go there as easily as the next person but I try not to stay there for very long.
My life and happiness are much more important and when I start looking at the fantastic opportunities that have just opened up I can easily see the positive aspects!
Most of that is because I don't like the discomfort of the negative emotion. Anger, frustration, disappointment.... all of that is a big waste of time and energy. I go there as easily as the next person but I try not to stay there for very long.
My life and happiness are much more important and when I start looking at the fantastic opportunities that have just opened up I can easily see the positive aspects!
Friday, March 26, 2010
Contrast
It is not always easy to see but sometimes the best way to know what we do want is to experience what we do not want. This has been a tremendous influence throughout my life.
I may not know where I do want to go but I can tell you exactly where I don't want to be! Having that information is so valuable because it helps me create a new map for my life.
What I try to remember is that the plan is in pencil not ink! You can make changes and revisions as you go along. Sometimes when I'm not sure how far I've really traveled I look at the wonderful and dramatic contrast of what my life was!
I may not know where I do want to go but I can tell you exactly where I don't want to be! Having that information is so valuable because it helps me create a new map for my life.
What I try to remember is that the plan is in pencil not ink! You can make changes and revisions as you go along. Sometimes when I'm not sure how far I've really traveled I look at the wonderful and dramatic contrast of what my life was!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Nurture
As a mother it was very easy for me to nurture and cherish my children. I prepared nutritious meals, watched out for their safety and tried to help them develop self worth and know their value in the world.
I know I am not alone when I say that women tend to be very good at taking care of others but not always so good at taking care of ourselves. I grew up during the Women's Liberation movement and it was a very exciting time. Full of the promise and hope for all of those things we did not have access to in the past. It was a time of great change but also of tremendous responsibility.
Women now can have it all – the problem is that most of us try to do it all! Slowly I am learning that if I nurture myself and cultivate my health and happiness I will understand my value in the world.
I know I am not alone when I say that women tend to be very good at taking care of others but not always so good at taking care of ourselves. I grew up during the Women's Liberation movement and it was a very exciting time. Full of the promise and hope for all of those things we did not have access to in the past. It was a time of great change but also of tremendous responsibility.
Women now can have it all – the problem is that most of us try to do it all! Slowly I am learning that if I nurture myself and cultivate my health and happiness I will understand my value in the world.
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