Close your eyes - Where do you want to go

If I asked you to close your eyes and picture the most beautiful, serene place in the world, what would you see.  Would it be a tropical white sand beach with warm waves splashing on your feet, or perhaps a dense rainforest lush and full of life, maybe it's a gorgeous mountain meadow with the sun softly shining down or rolling green hills as far as the eye can see.

If you can see it, smell it and touch it in your mind you can be there.  If you can capture the essence of that place and how you will feel, it will be yours as surely as if you were standing there.

Mom, Margaret and Country Music

I will never forget the Saturday nights we spent with my mom's friend Margaret and her family.  Usually, the adults were playing cards, drinking with country music blaring on the record player.  Sometimes we would all dance together in the living room or watch Porter Wagoner and Dolly Parton on the small black and white television.

I can't hear Hank Williams, Patsy Cline or any of the legends without remembering just how it felt to be that small, shy little girl getting her first glimpse of a very grown-up world.... 

Unconditional Love

When I spend time with my beautiful grandchildren I learn the true meaning of unconditional love.  To experience that pure, limitless affection fills my heart with unspeakable joy. 

We have a special routine in the morning where they climb into my bed and we cuddle and talk until it's time to get up.  These are the most precious moments of all. 

I have struggled with low self esteem most of my life but to see myself through their innocent and loving eyes makes me feel like the most adored person in the world!

Give up - Let go - Give in

I am learning that the only way to achieve the peace and joy that I so desperately want in my life is to stop trying to make it happen, it just doesn't work that way.  It is much easier said than done, but when I trust the process everything flows easily and works out in the perfect way at the perfect time.   

The more effort I apply the further my happiness slips away, so it is crucial that I find a way to give up the fight, let go of the struggle and give in to my hearts desire. 

To Be Continued...

It was 5 years ago that I made the giant leap to begin writing this blog.  It was my first attempt at sharing online what I was feeling and writing so privately.  I have written a great deal in my life and even had a few small things published, but this was very different.  This was the internet, that vast world wide web and it was very intimidating. 

In the end, it was my love of writing and desire to share some small piece of myself with the world that let me overcome my fear.  This experience has been truly cathartic and has helped me heal in ways I did not know I was wounded.  Something about putting my feelings into words and then sharing them really helps me appreciate the true meaning behind the message.

I am so very grateful for all the love and support I have received over the years and am thrilled to continue this journey with all of you!

My low tech life

It's kind of interesting to me that even though I work in IT, I am not really a big gadget or technology person.  As incredible as it is to be able to connect with people and endless resources around the world, anytime day or night, on a multitude of devices, I feel like I may have hit my limit.  Now, I realize that may sound a bit strange as I'm writing this post for my blog, but it's true. 

This entire technological explosion has been a real revelation for me, I grew up with AM radio, a rotary dial telephone that often did not work when the weather was bad, a black and white television that you actually had to use rabbit ears and get up to change one of the 4 channels we had to watch.  News was still delivered on paper in our front yard and chats were across the fence with the neighbor.

I really enjoy the great interaction with people through social media but for me nothing compares to sitting with someone, in person, face to face and having a lovely visit. 

Hannah

It signaled the end of one time and the beginning of another.  There is an old Native American belief that something goes away before something new can come in.  That was my experience 5 years ago as I stood with my friend and her family when their mother passed away.

My life, once again, had become a series of stressful situations and I was not sure what direction I needed to go in.  When I found out that my friend's mother was very ill and going into a nursing home I decided to leave my job and go to be with them.  I knew there wasn't anything I could do except to be there to support them but it felt like the best thing I could do for them and for me.

What an incredible experience it was to sit and spend my days with a lovely woman at the end of her life.  She was not lucid much of the time but she still had vivid memories of her life on the farm and the family she loved so dearly.

At the month's mind I said goodbye to my friends and returned home to begin my life again.  It was a beautiful reminder of how precious life really is and that you should not take even one day for granted....