Loneliness

Loneliness is not something that I am very familiar with.  I spent the first part of my life with family, friends and children and the second part appreciating the joy of living on my own without feeling alone.  I have enjoyed the solitude and freedom to do whatever I want whenever I want. 

Something has changed for me in recent years.  Now I have a true desire to share my life in a way that I’ve not felt before.  Whether I’m travelling or just at home I want the closeness and shared experience of being with someone special.

It will be very interesting to see what wonderful experiences will come from loneliness.

Split Loyalties

After returning from my trip abroad I’m finding it increasingly difficult to reconnect with work and the priorities that others would set for me.  Being away always gives me such clarity about what I do and do not want in my life. 

This journey was full of appreciation of the past and anticipation of the future with gratitude for exactly where I am right now.  Now that I am home, I feel compelled to be true to myself and pursue only those things that make my heart happy.

At this amazing time of my life I am no longer interested in or willing to split my loyalties.

Belonging

The train pulled into stop at the small station in Darlington and I noticed a woman stand to put on her coat.  I couldn’t help but stare – she looked exactly like my mother.  The same features, hair, shape – everything and it brought tears to my eyes. 
Here in Yorkshire, the exact place where my family is from to see someone who looks like me gave me an intense sense of knowing who I am and belonging in the world.

Humble Beginnings

To say my life had a humble beginning would be an extreme understatement. I was raised by my mother with one younger brother and it was a struggle to pay rent or keep food in the house. Mom worked very hard to keep what was left of her family together and never got any support of any kind from anyone. Too proud to take state assistance she managed by working as many jobs as she could find.

This month I went to Scotland and England to see where her family was from and now I see exactly where she got her strength and work ethic.  It was a very emotional journey to stand on the land that my ancestors lived and worked.  Theirs was a hard life indeed and it was very satisfying to know where I came from. 

When I look at the wonderful life I have – it is hard to believe it started from such humble beginnings….

Gentle on my Mind

There are places in my heart that I am unable to describe.  Thoughts and feelings that I hold so dear - I'm grateful to another whose music and words can express that for me...

"Gentle On My Mind" by John Hartford
... I pretend to hold you to my breast and find, that you're wavin' from the back roads by the rivers of my memory ever smilin', ever gentle on my mind.

Value Added

It is very important as we age that we shift our awareness to our new state of being.  So often we measure ourselves against a younger version that is no longer accurate.  We have grown and changed in ways that may be imperceptible to us but is truly who we have become.  

The depth of knowledge and experience we have achieved throughout our lives is present in everything we do.  We now have insight and inspiration that allows us to see that the whole is much more than the sum of its parts.  Our contribution to the world around us has expanded and we are value added.

Giving Thanks

Tomorrow is the Thanksgiving holiday here in America.  It is the day that we gather together with family and friends to share a meal and give thanks for all of the blessings we have.

It is my favorite holiday for many reasons - because it is not a gift giving holiday the focus is totally on the family being together.  I also love cooking the meal, it is one of my greatest simple pleasures - nurturing the body and the soul. But the best part of all is that the entire day is devoted to giving thanks.

Happy Thanksgiving!